God is strong.
The Lord says that where we are weak, He is strong.
“Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT
“So be strong and courageous, all you who put your hope in the Lord!”
When do you actually find out how strong you are? When do you find out what you’re made of? How much can you endure?
It’s through trials and tribulations that we all face in the world.
I was sitting outside this morning enjoying my coffee and reflecting on this season of my life.
I was reflecting on the loss of my mom last year, suddenly from a heart attack.
I didn’t understand. That was such a hard time for me. Do you think it’s easier to lose someone suddenly or watch them slowly slip away?
Think about it…
I think about it and I wish I had more time with my mom. I would not want to see her “wasting away” but I definitely wish she was still here. We are selfish too, you know.
We want what we want. We want who we want. Sometimes our loved ones want to go. Sometimes they are tired.
In the case of my mom, I felt, in retrospect, that she knew that she was leaving us. She said her goodbyes. How do people know?? I don’t know. But she did.
The last time I saw her felt like a “goodbye”, she told me how proud she was of me and how much she loved me and that she knew I would continue to do well in life. She looked me in the eyes and was extra “loving” My mother was not like that. She didn’t say, “I love you” often at all. And that was ok. It was normal. But there was more said and I left there feeling amazing at how she spoke to me. I felt like a little girl hearing from your mom how proud she was of you. I joked with her how she was laying it on thick LOL and I would be there to pick her and dad up Monday because they hadn’t been to my new salon since it was finished. They saw it a few times while it was being worked up and everything .
We made a date.
That day never came. She passed away 4 days later from that conversation.
That same year in September, towards the end of the month, I felt a lump in my right breast. I was alarmed. I was in the shower and something made me check. It wasn’t a regular routine for me. Let me tell you though. As soon as I felt it, I instantly knew it wasn’t right. It wasn’t just fibrous tissues. I hoped, but something inside of me said otherwise.
I called my Gynecologist. I saw her in October. She wanted further examination. She wrote me a referral for a mammogram. It would be my very first.
I made that call after my 40th birthday party. I didn’t want to deal with it. I went for my mammogram. It came back abnormal. Then there were more tests. Ultrasounds and biopsies.
All of which were abnormal. Hmmmm is this really happening?? That is what I wondered.
After it was all said and done, I was diagnosed with Breast cancer. Initially they thought stage 2b before surgery. After they opened me up they discovered so much more disease and I was officially stage 3b. What? How? Why?
The doctors said coming in October versus November would not have made a difference. From the size and spread of the tumor, it was inside of me for awhile. So during this time, my mother in law was hospitalized and my father. They both had major surgery. I didn’t want to tell them what was going on with me.
Christmas Day was spent going to the hospital visiting them both. All the while knowing I had cancer, but didn’t want to tell them.
I kept it under wraps and told my spiritual mom, spiritual sisters and natural sister. I slowly started to let it be known. I needed prayer. I needed strength.
My dad was also diagnosed with liver cancer. He currently is fighting that cancer which is stage 4 and spread to his bones. God help us.
I say that you never know how strong you are until you go through.
My life has been turned upside down. Yet still I stand!
I am thankful to God for His mercy and peace. He has given me peace in the midst of this storm.
“Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.”
Job 13:15 KJV
Trials and tribulations do not have to be the end.
We will face trials in this world. No one is immune to them. Jesus was heavily persecuted and said that we would be as well. My trial may not be yours; however, it doesn’t diminish yours.
We all share this human experience, meaning we experience similar issues. Issues that cut through race barriers. Issues that cut through religion and sexuality barriers. We are human. We are in a world where food that is meant to give us nutrition is killing us. That’s another story altogether smh.
I want to encourage you today that God never intended for us to live this way. He doesn’t want us suffering like we are. He loves us. He desires us all to be saved. He desires us all to come to an accurate knowledge of who He is.
Death is not the end. Not if you’re saved. Jesus has Resurrection power! Hallelujah!
John 5:28-29, NKJV. “Do not marvel at this; for the hour is coming in which all who are in the graves will hear His voice and come forth – those who have done good, to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil, to the resurrection of condemnation.”
I encourage you to live your life and enjoy it daily. I encourage you to get to know God. I encourage you to do things you love and be around people you love. I encourage you to be selfish with yourself sometimes. Understand how important time is and how you can’t get it back. Don’t allow people to waste it. Spend time with who you want. Be genuine in your dealings with people. Trust that God will set your path straight. Cast your cares on Him. Don’t live your life frustrated . Remember that we all have choices. We just have to deal with our choices, whatever that may be.
Remember to be kind. In a cruel world that is rare, but people are kind. They’re out here.
You want love? Show love
You want a friend? Be a friend.
Let it start with the man or woman in the mirror. Many times we must encourage ourselves. But let’s also encourage others.
Life is definitely what we make it. It’s about how we react to the situations we deal with daily. What is our thought process like? You know thoughts turn into actions, actions into habits, habits into character…
I always say the battle is in our minds. Stay strong in your mind. Stay positive. Faith helps with this. Trying to go at it alone without God seems daunting to me. We all need hope. Without hope what’s the point of it all?
Take the limits off God! We’re limited. He is not.
Regardless of what life throws at me, I know the Lord will never leave nor forsake me. I believe that! That’s real to me. My hope lies with Him.
I love you for taking the time to read my blog. I truly love writing and expressing myself this way. This is healing to my mind and spirit.
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