As I sit here reflecting over my life, I am thankful to be alive and in my right mind. I was in such a dark place many times in my life. I had such a veil over my eyes. So much confusion. There were things that happened to me when I was younger that threw me in a tailspin and my life took off in crazy directions. How many can relate?
The Lord has been dealing with me about my testimony and being transparent. He wants me to share and help others. It is difficult to be completely open. It’s a vulnerable place. The court of public opinion is rough. I think about my family. The ones who don’t know it all. I think of my church members. Yes, everyone has a story. But most don’t tell it for the same reasons that I hesitated. I hesitated with the Lord. I speak boldly with Him. He says to come boldly to the throne and I do.
There are people who talk down on others, but they are doing the same thing. They may preach one message, yet live another. This is what Jesus was saying to the Pharisee. Don’t be a hypocrite.
God sees you anyway.
The Lord always shines the light and exposes darkness. He did it with me and countless others. Yet it is to correct our behavior. He is a God of Mercy.
People are coming from all walks of life into the church. Don’t shun them or talk about them. God is calling them. We have to do better! People of God, we must show love. Not fake love either. (Matthew 7:20) Even babies know when you’re not being genuine. This is our commission. To love the Lord and love our neighbor. (Matthew 22:37-39)
I am a human being and I am not immune to these feelings. I am honest to admit them. I remember sharing a bit of my testimony with a sister and she teased me for weeks and called me the name I used when I was in my former life. I didn’t like that. I thought it was insensitive. She was fascinated with the story. I understand that but lets use some tact people. I share my story to show that God can save anyone. He saved Paul who was a murderer. He saved me and He can save you. He can change your life for the better. He did it for me. He can give you peace and joy in the midst of any storm. He is bigger than any circumstance that you may go through. I know this, because I’ve seen it in my life and testimonies of others.
He can save you while you are in church. Just being in the church building isn’t enough. Sometimes we are routinely going. Some people go and leave the same way with no changes taking place in their life. And if that’s you, then you’re missing the mark. You’re missing out on truly having an amazing relationship with God that produces much fruit!
I don’t have a heaven nor hell to put anyone in. And it seems to me that the words the Lord gives me to say can be bold. Even harsh. I tell you what–I’m more afraid of not doing what He tells me than how it’s received. Don’t get offended. But if you do, then I hope it’s offense that brings about action. I hope it brings you to your knees asking God to help you get back on track. I hope it makes you have a healthy fear of Him again. He is our GOD! our CREATOR! I am in such awe of HIM. He is a just God. He loves us, yes, but let’s not treat Him as if He is common. His thoughts are not our thoughts, nor His ways our ways. They’re greater.
I was in the world tough. I was a bisexual woman for many years before God delivered me. I danced, escorted then became a madam. This was all before I was saved. Then after being saved I had other trials. That’s for another post.
I wrote a book about my testimony, and will release it, in the coming months. It was a tough thing to write because it brought up so many emotions for me. There is a lot I buried, and just moved on from. I thank and praise God everyday and throughout the day. Literally, I do. He has changed my life. I am completely sold out to Him. What He did for me is nothing short of miraculous. Even through this cancer journey. so many blessings have come from it. I am transforming everyday. No longer a caterpillar!
I didn’t know God. Yet He loved me. It was like a compass in my life leading me to Him.
I know that He is a forgiving God. The word says it and I’ve experienced it. I know that He is a powerful God, the word says it and I’ve seen His power demonstrated in my life. I know that He is a Deliverer, the word says it and I have experienced deliverance in many ways!
I know that He is a healer, because He has healed me: My heart, body and mind.
Strongholds are real. Demons are real.
Many people have strongholds, of one thing or another. It is a faulty thinking pattern based on lies and deception (2 Corinthians 10:5) Cast them down!
I truly understand the lure of the world. I understand the temptations of it. Sin is deceitful. Plain and simple. You think you can master it, but it masters you. I danced with the devil. I thought I could control everything. I had a rude awakening.
I thought that I was on my journey and would just continue on.
I’ve been saved and lets move on. No. The Lord started dealing with me about testimony and ALL of it. Whew Lord. That’s a tall order! He started last year with the testimony talk. Before my cancer diagnosis.
I remember my Bishop at church asked us for our testimony and I froze up. What would I write? What would I say? How could I tell them what I’ve done and who I’ve been? This is me being transparent. I thought all these things. I was asked to be apart of a testimony service by another sister for her church and I kept declining, citing work scheduling conflicts. Once I was diagnosed with cancer, I received prophetic words regarding it. It has not stopped. Dreams as well. Ok, Lord, I get it.
But Lord strengthen me, and take me to a place in you where I walk with boldness. That was my prayer.
You see, it’s not about me. It’s about God. I’m apart of His story not the other way around. I didn’t go through all I went through for nothing. The change of my mind is the biggest thing. My thoughts are different. My wants are different. You understand?
You, also, are apart of His story.
He wants us free. Truly free. There is freedom in Him.
No one can hold anything over my head because I’m free!
God is truly with me! The enemy wants me afraid. Wants me to stay quiet and feel ashamed. Oh no! I think not! I’ve been delivered and I’m more than a conqueror. Someone needs to know that! Someone out there needs my testimony. My book will be released and touch many around the world. I speak that and believe that.
I am not a preacher. I am a woman who has been saved by grace. A woman who has made a decision to trust and follow Jesus. A woman who has lived a lifestyle quite contrary to the one she lives now. I have wisdom and knowledge that I’ve gained from the streets and from the Lord! I know people. I see people. That’s a blessing. God has increased my spiritual discernment and I see clearer than I ever have. I’m excited because there is so much more for me in the future.
I want to encourage you to stay on the Potters wheel.
Let the Lord continue to mold you. He knows who you are. If you’re living a double life, stop faking in church. Go to God and repent and be delivered. There is so much He wants to show you. He wants to take you deeper in Him. But you cannot be a double minded person. You can’t be lukewarm, or else he says he will spit you out of his mouth (Revelation 3:14-22)
You are lukewarm if you say you are a christian, yet living as if you are not.
And I know it’s a process, but move forward with the process.
Take off the mask and be free!
If you are interested in information regarding my upcoming book release, free chapters and more, sign up for my mailing list.