Category Archives: Grace

You’re not taught this in the world

The Lord has been dealing with me to put these words out that He has laid on my heart. He wants me to encourage you to read His Word and apply it to your life. He is watching us. Regardless of what you think is happening, He is, in fact, taking notice of His creation. He cares about what we are doing, and how we are living. He IS speaking. Now whether you can hear is another thing altogether. It takes being intentional seeking Him out, and He says in His word that you will find him.  (Jeremiah 29:13)

Hebrews 4:12 says that the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the diving asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.


The Word of God is alive! That is what that passage in Hebrews is saying to us. It’s God-breathed as it says in 2 Timothy; Inspired by the Holy Spirit. It reveals us to us and reveals God to us. You learn His character through the Bible. You learn what His voice sounds like, and how He deals with mankind.  

You can’t hide from the Spirit of God. Once you read the Word, it shows you yourself in the pages, and the stories of those who came before us. We get instructions from God, and the world. But who do we follow? Who do we listen to? The bible is our compass on how to live. You will find, as the days and years’ progress that most look at the bible as outdated, and unnecessary. Don’t let that be your way of thinking.


Society’s tolerance for anything and everything, is not a pass for the Believer to do as they want. Likewise, Christians who align themselves with the world is not an example on how to live. Become a fruit inspector if you haven’t already. Even with that, do all things in love. We never want to stumble another brother or sister. Be an example of someone set apart for God without condemning your brother or sister. Judge all things righteously.  (John 7:24)

We are in the world but we aren’t of this world. You will find a separation taking place where it will become obvious who is who. As followers of Jesus Christ, we must live for Him, and be lovers of truth and righteousness. Also, serve one another, instead of being self serving. The world says, “Do you and don’t worry about the next!” I used to say that as well, and believed it. Yet that isn’t what God wants. He wants us to love one another and help each other in our walk. 

We are all in different stages; however, don’t use that to Lord over someone, or to mock someone else. The mature ones should help the babies, and I’m not speaking on length in the ministry, I’m speaking of whether you are ingesting milk or solid foods, and your manner of life. That is an indicator of maturity, not years saved.

Love on eachother. Help one another.


Read the passage below out loud. Get it in your spirit. It will bless you when dealing with your brother or sister. 

Faith comes by hearing, so practice as often as you can to read the word aloud to yourself. Don’t miss this key and revelation that the Holy Spirit revealed to me. 

Bless you all, and make an effort daily to read the bible and pray.

Romans 14:10-15:7 New Living Translation (NLT)

10 So why do you condemn another believer[a]? Why do you look down on another believer? Remember, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. 11 For the Scriptures say,

“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bend to me,
    and every tongue will declare allegiance to God.[b]’”

12 Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God. 13 So let’s stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall.

14 I know and am convinced on the authority of the Lord Jesus that no food, in and of itself, is wrong to eat. But if someone believes it is wrong, then for that person it is wrong. 15 And if another believer is distressed by what you eat, you are not acting in love if you eat it. Don’t let your eating ruin someone for whom Christ died. 16 Then you will not be criticized for doing something you believe is good. 17 For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 If you serve Christ with this attitude, you will please God, and others will approve of you, too.19 So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up.

20 Don’t tear apart the work of God over what you eat. Remember, all foods are acceptable, but it is wrong to eat something if it makes another person stumble. 21 It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything else if it might cause another believer to stumble.[c] 22 You may believe there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and God. Blessed are those who don’t feel guilty for doing something they have decided is right. 23 But if you have doubts about whether or not you should eat something, you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following your convictions. If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning.[d]

Living to Please Others

15 We who are strong must be considerate of those who are sensitive about things like this. We must not just please ourselves. We should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord. For even Christ didn’t live to please himself. As the Scriptures say, “The insults of those who insult you, O God, have fallen on me.”[e] Such things were written in the Scriptures long ago to teach us. And the Scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God’s promises to be fulfilled.

May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus. Then all of you can join together with one voice, giving praise and glory to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory.

Footnotes:

  1. 14:10 Greek your brother; also in 14:10b131521.
  2. 14:11 Or declare praise for God. Isa 49:1845:23 (Greek version).
  3. 14:21 Some manuscripts read to stumble or be offended or be weakened.
  4. 14:23 Some manuscripts place the text of 16:25-27 here.
  5. 15:3 Greek who insult you have fallen on me. Ps 69:9.

10 ways to handle offense

 

 
 
How many people can relate to this statement? “I’m not going back to church.” or “Only hypocrites in church.” Many people have in the past or are currently experiencing church hurt. In the world right now, there are people speaking of it everywhere. Twitter even had a hashtag trending on #Churchhurt. There are celebrities discussing this topic.
 

Offense

 
Everyone, at one point or another, deal with offense, because it happens daily.  We can’t hide from it, and can only control our reaction and response to it. (Photo by Stephane YAICH on Unsplash)
 
But, what I want you to recognize is the testing that comes along daily in your life. How you handle offense is a test. Don’t walk around “in your feelings” hindering your progress in life. The devil will attack you in that area, and create opportunities for offense.
Likewise, God will use those same opportunities for you to rise above the offense. Pay attention. Everyone isn’t against you. Some things have nothing to do with you. In fact, some people internalize everything.
 
How do I know this? I have first hand knowledge. I was taking everything personally. It would cause many issues in my marriage and in my mind. I couldn’t hear criticism from my husband and would listen to respond instead of to understand.  I would interrupt often in defense of myself. The Lord, through my different experiences, matured me in this area. Sometimes it still rears its ugly head, but I see it, and handle it. It no longer handles me. Glory to God!
 

Dealing with Offense

 
Have you had friends or family members that you extend yourself to but it isn’t reciprocated? Or people use you because you are kind? I have, and it’s easy to get offended in those instances. But actually it’s better to take inventory of yourself. Are you too accessible, and say “Yes” too much for fear of offending? Pay attention to how you move. You may be getting offended by something that you are allowing. They may actually be oblivious to it.
 
Have you ever cringed in your seat, hearing the Pastor say something that you think is about you? And could very well be about you. How do you handle that? Do you get angry? Offended? The spirit of offense will have his way all over you and most will let him. Offense will block you from receiving the message from the Pastor. He/She may not have been trying to offend you, but that is the way most will take it. Offense will blind, hinder and bind you up. It will dictate your thoughts, moves, and emotions. Don’t let it. Be free!
 
We use our social media as a venting platform many times. I read reactions to offense on social media. For example, we react to events that happen to us before first thinking and calming down. We post hastily and may later have regrets, because we are reacting in the moment. I wrote a post about this here. God sees everything. No one is immune from His correction.
 
Share your story to edify the body; don’t blast to vent. We don’t want to tear people down. Especially those in the faith. Don’t sow discord. We do reap what we sow.
 

Brief Experience

 
I have heard countless stories about church hurt and offense. Haven’t you? We’ve all experienced offense. Let me share one with you.
 
A sister spoke to me in a disrespectful way in front of others at church. It offended me. I did ask to speak privately with her and told her how I didn’t like the way she spoke to me. (Matthew 18:15) We are both grown, even though she was older than I was, it was no excuse. There is a way to get your point across without being mean and disrespectful. She apologized but how many know, it didn’t leave me right away? I’d seen her do that to others. I avoided her while at church, but it seemed as if everywhere I looked she was there. I said, “Lord, you have a sense of humor.
 
You see, He was stretching me. Hiding and avoidance is not a mature way to handle things. Offense has no place in the believer. I let it go. This isn’t about the sister. This is about me and how I handled that situation. There is always a situation. What God showed me is that like He is working on me, He was working on her. We are all flawed. I am to have compassion, and pray for them. Once I started doing that things changed in my life. It isn’t easy to pray for people who hurt you, but God says for us to do just that in His Word. (Luke 6:27-29) I asked Him to let me see people as He sees them. I forgave and I forgive throughout the day. I hope others do the same for me. No one wants their prayers hindered. (Matthew 5:23)
 

My outlook changed

 
In these situations and countless others, I remind myself how we are all one body, and the Lord isn’t finished with us. I want you to remember this also. I am able to hear criticism, and handle disagreements. When things fall apart, many times, it’s to come together again. In auxiliaries, remember that you are working unto the Lord. Actually, keep that outlook even in your secular job. It will keep you together.
 
The Lord was teaching me something. Is He likewise teaching you? He is always toughening up my skin for the journey ahead. I get it. I must also walk in meekness and gentleness, which are fruits of the Spirit. This is a daily thing. He is concerned with my heart condition and yours. He works on us from the inside out–working on our character.
 

What does God want?

 
What is He calling for you and I to do in any given situation? Do you know?
 
Here is an example of what I say to myself: I will not be offended. I am casting every thought down that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and will think on things that are positive. I’m going to pursue peace, regardless of what the other person is doing.” I talk myself off the ledge, so to speak. I can’t let my thoughts and mind do whatever. I can’t trust it. Nor can I trust my emotions. God wants us to walk and follow after His son Jesus Christ, and walk in love, forgiveness, and faith! He wants us to give a “God” response and not a carnal one.
 
So, I’ve learned that I can step away from a situation to not hinder a relationship. I’ve also learned to forgive even when I’m hurt and don’t understand, for the sake of relationship. See this is when knowledge and wisdom come into play.
 
You may have knowledge of the scripture, “how many times to forgive my brother”, but the wisdom is in the application of the scripture. (Matthew 18:21-22) (Matthew 5:38-40) No, it doesn’t feel good going through that, but the refining process is priceless.
 
[bctt tweet=”You elevate in God with each wise move and each area of obedience.” username=”AuthorTTucker”]
 
Our Lord Jesus Christ said for us to love our Heavenly Father with all our heart, and second to love our neighbor. He also said to do good to those in the faith. Relationships are very important to God. He loves people–not denominations.

Tips and suggestions

 
 
We have a job to do out here and it’s to plant and water. The Lord will cause the increase. We are to make disciples.
 
We limit God by our unforgiveness, even in those matters. Talk with yourself and cast those thoughts down. What about when people let you down? Forgive them and pray for them. You let people down too, you know?
 
God is stretching us in those uncomfortable moments. How can you be prepared for a greater level, if you can’t handle the small stuff?
 
If you are in ministry and desiring more, you must learn how to handle a small group. The Lord says if we are faithful in the small things, we will be faithful in large ones. (Luke 16:10) People are not easy, yet the Lord has grace for us. We must extend grace one to another. Love is the Word of the day. Everyday. I have 2 books that will help you immensely in this area. Click here for more info.
 

Here are 10 suggestions that I have for you:

 
1. If it isn’t edifying, don’t say it.
 
2. After an offense don’t go immediately to facebook and post, pause ten minutes. After that, you won’t even want to post it.
 
3. Think before you speak.
 
4. Pray and ask God for help. Ask Him in sincerity and He will respond.
 
5. Be mindful of the words you speak. Death and life are in the power of the tongue.
 
6. Forgive the offense and let the Lord handle the situation. He cares about everything that has to do with you. You’re His child.
 
7. Recognise that there are evil spirits looking for an opening to oppress you daily and set up strongholds. Offense is an opening.
 
8. Don’t focus on feelings. Being too emotional will hurt you everytime. Think. Use your brain. The heart is deceitful. Be wise.
 
9. Pray for the person who offended you. It’s hard to stay mad at someone that you pray for.
 
10. Make a decision. Be intentional. You are in control of your actions. Decide not to be offended
 
Conclusion
 
Finally, what controls you? Flesh or Spirit? Spirit has you deny yourself. Flesh indulges your impulses and emotions. Flesh cares for self. Spirit for others. Flesh wants revenge. Spirits understands that vengeance belongs to the Lord, and He will repay. Flesh wants instant gratification. Spirit understands to wait on the Lord and be of good courage. Flesh wants to speak on every offense. Spirit rebukes spirit and prays.  The enemy is a liar. Never forget that. Be careful of making permanent decisions on a temporary circumstance.
Stay rooted in what God wants. Offense takes your eyes off of God and puts them on yourself. Keep God and His purpose in front of you.
 
Pray this prayer: Father God. I thank you, and appreciate all that you do for me. I thank you for your reminders, and being long suffering towards me.  Thank you for your Grace and Mercy. Father, in the name of Jesus I ask for forgiveness in any way that I’ve fallen short in thought or deed. Father create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. I want to walk in your ways Father. Forgive me as I forgive those who hurt me. I will not hold on to offense. From this day forward I will be mindful of my thoughts towards others. I will be mindful of my words towards others. I pray that you strengthen me in my spirit. Help me in my daily walk Father, as I want to do your will. Less of me and more of you. Bring to my remembrance anything that I need to repent of and I will do so. I thank you Father for hearing my prayer and hearing my heart. In Jesus name. Amen.
 
What are your experiences with offense and forgiveness in church or just in everyday life? Lets talk. 

 

The Lie We Tell Ourselves

 

The Lie

 

Everyone lies in one way or another. Small lie, big lie, white lie, red lie ( I just threw that one in there) When speaking on lies, people say things like, “It was just a small white lie” or “It wasn’t that big of a deal. You know it’s true.

When we say we don’t lie, we are in fact lying.

We can definitely be someone who keeps it real, and on the up and up for the most part. Yet even when trying to protect someone, we may tell them a different truth to not hurt their feelings.  We may lie and tell our children that there is a Santa Clause and Tooth Fairy. Innocent right? Sure, but it isn’t true. We may lie when scared as Sarai was when God called her out on her lie. He asked why did she laugh when He said that she would have a child, and she said that she didn’t laugh. She absolutely laughed. (Genesis 18: 9-15) So she lied.

We lie out of ignorance. We may believe something, but may not know all the facts, so we answer. Like Peter, when he said he would never disown Jesus. Jesus told him that he would and Peter said that he never would. (Matthew 26: 31-35) And of course, he did. In his defense, he truly felt that he wouldn’t. Yet Peter lied all 3 times when asked if he knew Jesus, and he was a disciple! He walked with Jesus. Deep.

Who wants to be called a liar? Not me. That word hurts. As a matter of fact, when called a liar, your immediate response is, “I’m not a liar!”

Children lie often. They are fearful of consequences.

People also lie by omission. I use to lie often by omission. Also, directly if you asked about my business and I didn’t think it was your business.

These aren’t the lies I’m talking about when I say, “The Lie we tell ourselves.”

We need Jesus. Clearly right? We need the Holy Spirit to help us.

 

 

Lies are comfortable.

 

 

To the Believers

The lie that I’m speaking of is that we don’t have to be sanctified to God. That’s a lie we tell ourselves. That is a lie from the pits of hell! Truly. We tell ourselves that we can live however we want. We are still saved by grace and loved by God. Yes we are, but where are you on your journey with God? How’s your mindset? How’s your peace? Your joy? Your abundant living? How is everything going? Because that comfortable lie will have you far removed from God. That comfortable lie will have you living like the people of the world, and saying “God knows my heart,” but making no changes whatsoever. [bctt tweet=”Yes, you are saved by grace. And I’m talking to my saved people right now, but you can’t take God for granted.” username=”AuthorTTucker”]

You do know that God says that you must die to sin? Right? Read Romans 6.

 

Sin will be your master. You may think you can control it but it will control you.

I remember thinking I could smoke my weed because I had a legal card and I had rules for myself. I wouldn’t smoke on bible study days or Sundays. How many know I broke those rules? Sin had become my master and I would try to reason with it. That stronghold was super strong on me. I remember getting up like 6 am one Sunday and literally fought back and forth with myself because I wanted to smoke. Wake and bake as it’s called. Yea, I wanted that. That particular Sunday, church was starting in a few hours, and I couldn’t shake the urge to smoke. It was so strong. I was fighting – battling within myself. I knew it was wrong but my flesh won that fight that morning. “Tara what are you doing?” I would ask myself, but I wasn’t yet strong in Spirit, and there I was drinking coffee and smoking a blunt. That thing had me. I was ashamed. I needed help but it was strong on me. People say weed isn’t addictive. It most certainly is! I went to church still and I cried out of shame, and cried to God, “Help me!!!”

One of the problems, was that I was reasoning with myself that it was ok because I needed it medically. I know there are many amazing uses for the Hemp plant, but when you are smoking weed, you want to keep smoking weed, because it feels good. Then you are smoking when there is no pain. (This is my story. I am not speaking on anyone but me) My medical card said I needed the weed, so I said it was necessary. It was a lie really. I needed God. I needed to truly give myself to Him. He is a Healer. I needed to trust Him with my cares and concerns. My issue at that time was not physical as so much as mental and emotional and the weed kept me calm.

That’s just one lie. I would lie about things to keep up appearances. Babiieeee that is exhausting! Be yourself. Social Media will have you all messed up. So I write about freedom. I write about the freedom of walking in my identity in Christ and in truth. Lies are bondage. Truth is freedom! But freedom, this type of freedom, come with honesty.

Let God be God

 

How many know that God has a peace that far exceeds weed, alcohol or any drug? His peace surpasses all thoughts. The world can’t give you that peace. And the smoking is of the world.

 

Once that stronghold was removed, I went further in God. Hallelujah! I started to hate what he hated and love what he loved. There are levels and we are our own stumbling block. We can pray for something over and over and wonder why it won’t manifest. It could be sin that you are harboring in your life. It could be unforgiveness that you are holding in your heart. Our God is Holy. He doesn’t operate in sin. Many times our blessings are on the other side of our obedience.

God is moving and He loves to give good gifts to His children, but you can be limiting what He is willing to do for you. Think of a parent child relationship. He is our Father. He does discipline us. He also rewards us; however, He is not a genie in a bottle that you can just keep asking for things and make no changes in your life. What does He want from you? He wants your love, worship and obedience. He wants you to listen to Him because He created you and knows what is best for you. He wants you to follow Jesus as the ultimate example of how to live and treat people. He wants you to operate in the Spirit. Flow in your gifts and be a blessing to people. God is into people. The people business, not things, but if you put Him first, He will give you things. He knows the desires of your heart. Things are a perk. Favor is the best!

God does show mercy and we are grateful for that, because we all have fallen short. We can’t do anything apart from Him, but everything through Him, because He strengthens us to do so. (Philippians 4:13)

 

He created us. We are created beings. He is our CREATOR. He is the POTTER. We are the clay.

So let’s wrap this up: What do you think of the most? Things of God? or things of the world? Spiritual things? or Fleshly things? That is for you to answer to yourself. We must check ourselves to make sure we are still walking with God in truth. Let’s not lie to ourselves. If you belong to God you ARE NOT obligated to do what your flesh wants. The Holy Spirit within you will help you. But it won’t force you. This is where people get confused. You have to yield to the Spirit and be OBEDIENT to the Spirit. It is easy to say, “Well God let me.” and “He didn’t stop me so it must be ok.” or “God can take this away from me whenever he wants.”

Yes, He sure can but do you want it taken away? Is that your prayer? Are you working on being kind? Can you be quiet and not have the last word? Are you throwing packs of cigarettes away? Are you trying daily?  I use to throw my paraphernalia in the trash, and sometimes I would go get it out. I was trying. It had me, and at first I was ok with it, but later I wasn’t, when I realized that I was no longer in control of it. Addiction is a stronghold. It can be food, drugs, alcohol, sex, porn, etc. Are you addicted to anything? You don’t have to tell me. That’s a question for you. Bind the strongman. You are not powerless if you have the Holy Spirit inside of you. God says whatever we bind in Heaven will be bound on earth and whatever we loose in Heaven will be loosed in the earth. (Matthew 18:18)

Self-Reflect

Have you told yourself that it’s ok to act a certain way or do certain things because God knows your heart? Are you walking and living as a child of God? When people see you do they know by your lifestyle that you follow God? Or are you compromising? Are you riding the fence? Or being double minded? Don’t believe the lie. Jesus is the truth. Period. If you are for Him, walk in truth and be for Him. (1 John 1:9)   (Colossians 3:5) Satan is a liar! A sneaky conniving liar. He is so subtle with some of them too. You will start to question it like: “Well God didn’t really say this or that?…Or “This is just a principle and it’s not like a law or rule or anything.” I use to say how God made the herbs and it was good. I found a scripture to back it up. It was true, but I was misusing it to suit my way of thinking.  I was comfortable in my lie until it became uncomfortable to me. I answered the call to go higher in God. That meant dying to self. My self will. I had to decrease so that He could increase. Daily! (Matthew 16:24)

Let that be your prayer: “Lord let me decrease, so that you can increase in my life. Father in the name of Jesus I ask that you strengthen me. Lord remove anything that is not of you! Forgive me for ___________________________. I decree that from this moment forward, I will start fresh and new. Help me with my unbelief, and strengthen my faith in you. Rebuke the devourer for my sake. I want more of you Lord and less of me. Get me out of my own way.” in Jesus name, Amen.

It’s a process

Jesus said if we deny Him in front of people then He will deny us in front of His Father. (Matthew 10:33) We as God’s people have been set apart specifically for His use. And yes He does know our hearts, and He loves us. I am so thankful for His love and mercy. We are a new creation when we become saved. The old has passed away. (2 Corinthians 5:17) However, It is a process. You must continue to move forward. I can only speak what I know. I read my word, I pray and I have learned from my experiences and encounters with God.  I am thankful because as it says in Philippians 1:6, “And I am sure that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” God is not done with any of us.

I didn’t realize the stronghold that was upon me. I was busy in church. I was helpful to people outside of church. I loved God and people. I worked and things were productive there, but my household was in disarray. It wasn’t as peaceful as it should have been. Also, I smoked, drank, had anger outburst, and lacked patience and self-control. For who I was purporting to be, that should not have been the case.  Our Christian households should be together. Our marriages on point, the children being taught correctly. Discipleship starts in the home first. Not outside. I was believing the lie that said to me all was well because I was active in church. People lie in church to themselves all the time. They leave and go back to their life which does not mimic Sunday morning. Being able to walk this thing out forreal is amazing. I am excited. God is good!!

I was finally set free, and now I can truly say that I worship God in Spirit and in Truth.

I want you;likewise, to be free if you’re bound. If you are not where you want to be in God. If you feel that you aren’t progressing, look at your life. Examine yourself.

 

Scriptural references for you: 1 Corinthians 6:11;   2 Peter 1:2-4;   2 Timothy 2:21;   Galatians 2:20

Be Blessed

P.S.

Click here to purchase my new book. 

Dear God

Dear God,

I’m trying. I’m resting in you. Today, I’m reflecting over it all. I know you’ve been with me. You’ve been by my side and in front of me. Lord, sometimes I want to scream! Sometimes I want to cry. I am so strong and I hold things together but I don’t always want to. I have to. People are watching: My husband and children are watching. My family, and church members are watching. Clients and strangers are watching. You have me on display.

I’m an example right? That’s what you told me. I’m an inspiration and have to show people how to walk this thing out. I’m a walking epistle. Yeah, and I’m all for that most days.

Lord, I’m trying!

Reflecting, as I lay here in pain. Right now I am fighting emotions. I am in my feelings. I’m down again with another surgery, just when I was feeling somewhat “normal” again. “You’re almost at the finish line,” my cousin says. Yes cousin, almost. But what’s the finish line? Truly? I will always have to deal with something since the diagnosis. A year ago today I had tests done to determine if I had breast cancer. The results of course were positive. And thus the journey began. A new journey. Don’t get me wrong Lord I’m thankful to be alive. I’m thankful for growth. But my body seems like it has never recovered. I don’t care what I look like on the outside, I don’t feel the same, and it’s weird. Well, each day is better than the last. I thank you for that. Thank you for grace.
Photo by Diana Simumpande on Unsplash
 
I’m a different me. A better me? Sure, spirituality I am. Mentally and emotionally, I’m stable. I’m sane where I use to feel insane sometimes. Physically I am not better. I feel old and achy. I wish I was courageous enough to go with no boobs. This surgery sucks. But I’m not sure I want that or just want to be left alone and speaking from that place. Right now Lord I’m overwhelmed with my limitations from surgery. I’m so active that sitting down is foreign. I feel unproductive, and for a productive girl it’s hard to sit. But it’s needed.

Be still and know….Yes, God I hear you.

Lord, you’ve allowed so much to happen to me. So much…You say, I’m stronger than I know? Yes, I am starting to be aware.
I miss my mom. I wish I could talk to her…hug her.. hear her say my name and laugh with me. My mom understood me best. I miss my dad. He was so fun. Just a cool guy. I cry for them. Everything happened so fast Lord. Just a year. Lord help me! Thank you for being my Comforter. Thank you for your peace that surpasses all understanding.
Before I was saved I didn’t have all these problems. Now, I’ve had to close my business. I’ve lost my mom and dad and fighting a disease that kills people every day. Yes, I’m in remission, but my doctor says my reoccurrence rate is high so she watching me for 5 years. That is on my mind. I must have another surgery next month. That is on my mind. Whose report, you say? Well, I believe Yours, of course. I’m just reflecting.

All will be well! You are my Healer. Yes Lord. I know. I thank you.

I’m anxious for it to be over. What a long year it’s been Lord. Not to you though. A day is as 1,000 years for you.
Be anxious for nothing, yes I know…I hear you…
This journey is so rough emotionally and no one around me understands. They love me and they do the best they can. I love them.

Lord, I’m trying. I lay here trying to be comfortable when all I can do is stay on my back propped up on pillows. I can’t raise my arms. Can’t bend down or lift anything…Yes, I know it’s temporary. I try to stay focused on that fact. Yet sleep eludes me when I close my eyes.

I am thankful my daughter is driving herself to work and school. What a blessing! …Hating that I have to rely so much on her when she’s home to clean and cook. She’s tired. She is the sweetest and does so much for her mommy. My youngest daughter pokes her lips out when asked. That’s teenagers for you. But she does it – sometimes joyfully, sometimes begrudgingly. She’s a sweetheart too but she has a lot of my sass that’s for sure. But honestly, why do I have to ask anyway? They know I keep my house clean. Just do it! Because I can’t. I take good care of them all! It can get frustrating for me. Photo by Jad Limcaco on Unsplash

Lord I’m trying!

You say not to worry and just rest. So what if there’s a little clutter? So what if there’s a few dishes.
Don’t worry. Heal daughter.
You know what? I’m tired of being poked and prodded. Tired of surgeries.
You say to be thankful and I am. I’m thankful that I have a husband who loves me and works hard to take care of us. I’m thankful for my beautiful children. I’m thankful to be alive.
You know what? I feel guilty sometimes that I can’t do the regular things around the house. I feel guilty that I’m not ironing my husbands uniforms. I know I can’t right now. I know I’m limited. It’s temporary. Yes God. I know.
It’s impatience? Forgive me Lord. Sit and stay in your Presence? Focus on you? Yes God. Have mercy Lord.
But, I wish I could ask for help. Lord it’s so hard to ask for these things. My momma did that to me. There is still pride in me Lord. Continue to purge me.
Thank you for letting me vent Lord. Thank you for being a present help in time of trouble.

Sometimes it’s lonely…this route you’re taking me… these wonders you’re showing me. Who would believe me? People believe what they see but you’ve shown me to believe when I don’t see.

You let me see in the Spirit. You give me amazing dreams. I can’t articulate your greatness.
Lord, I’m trying. You’ve told me to rest and not worry. And you know that I do that. Forgive me in this moment. I’m venting. I haven’t slept well. My body aches. I hate complaining. I feel weak complaining.
This is all apart of my process. I’m on a journey. You’ve taken me to a higher level and you aren’t done. I’m grateful. I like to speak open and honest Lord. My concern, always, is that I’m not bringing reproach to your name. I don’t want to do that. Only Glory.
I think of you all the time. All the time. Above anything or anyone.

You call me faithful. Well Lord after all I’ve been through, all I’ve seen, all you’ve brought me out of, how can I not be faithful?

Lord I’m trying!

This thing is an everyday faith walk. No joke. No lie. And I can’t make it looking at anyone else. Not my husband, children, friends, family, or church members. People let me down. I’ve let them down. But you… you are constant. You don’t change. Lord I thank you!!! I give you glory, honor and praise cause you alone are good! Thank you for capturing each one of my tears.

Thank you for changing my life!
I know that you’ve allowed me to go through so much to be a testimony of your goodness. A testament to your ability to keep one in perfect peace, despite any trial. To show that you are a Deliverer, a Healer and Way-maker. Today, I am still in perfect peace. Even now. My joy overshadows any sadness I may temporarily experience.
It’s so different in my household Lord. You’ve made me a housewife. I laugh. Who wanted that? Not me. I’m a career woman. Right? Ha! Lord I’m trying! You’ve shown me that you are my Jehovah Jireh! My provider. The way my income set up, it could be no one or nothing but you Lord!
Why are my thoughts so different? I’m kinder, more patient. Now, I’m thinking of my family. I’m putting my husband first. My children… I use to put the salon first. Put me first. Put getting money first. I used to be selfish Lord. I use to be cut throat. I could cut someone with my words. I can admit it now. I chased money. I loved the freedom it afforded me. Yet I was bound! Lord I thank you! I chase you now! You provide for me and I am not yet what I will become.
.Photo by Jeremy Vessey on Unsplash

I’ve looked at the woman in the mirror. I’ve faced her head on.

What have you done to me?

You’ve made me soft! I don’t even argue anymore. The fighter doesn’t even argue or fight! Glory! I give a soft answer. Only you God! I want to cook and clean for them. I want to spend time with them. I use to spend so much time at the salon. It was my getaway. Lord you’ve made me a wife. A happy wife! And in response my husband has become more affectionate and loving towards me. There is nothing he wouldn’t do for me. Even cleaning if I asked lol. But I get it. The man works very hard outside our home. I know I’m loved. I feel it. I don’t question my husbands love for me. Even when he’s overwhelmed. This has been hard for him as well. I pray for him. I keep him before you. Strengthen him Lord!

Lord, you are something else. Now I’m smiling. I love you. I love the new mind you’ve given me. I love my forgiving heart.
You’ve allowed so much to fall on me because I can handle it. I’m pretty strong but where I’m weak you show your strength. Lord, I thank you. I’m leaning on you and not my own understanding. My understanding leads to confusion. You aren’t the author of confusion nor do you operate in it. Glory! I know when I’m operating in my flesh. Thank you for discernment. I console myself knowing that you will perfect that which concerns me. I know that you will keep me in perfect peace when my eyes are stayed upon you.
I’ve become peculiar. I’ve always been different, but now I’m “peculiar“ as one of your chosen. That’s what you said. You said, I’m not only called, but I’m chosen. I find comfort in your validation. I find comfort in knowing who I am. I said life was easier before being saved. Not true. It was me doing what I wanted on my own terms not knowing who I was. It was me struggling to find identity through men, women and also career. It was me smoking my days away thinking I’m living it up cause I could afford the good stuff. It was me making money my god. Me with a veil over my eyes.

Lord, I thank you

Thinking because I was making the devil’s money that I was good. I didn’t have to ask anyone for anything. I was truly living in deception. That’s what I know now. Lord, I thank you! The biggest thing you’ve done for me is to change my outlook. I can see! Not only with how I see myself but how I see everything else. I’m walking in complete transparency and for a girl who lived most of her life lying and hiding that’s huge!
I have these moments of reflection. I may even experience frustration and sadness. I’m thankful that they are fleeting moments. I am so aware that it makes me not fit in anywhere. I can’t say things because you’ve told me not too. I’m obedient above all. I fear you. I fear you more than I fear perception.
Lord I go to church and you’ve opened my eyes even there so that I see. Sometimes, I don’t want to see. Seeing can hurt. I feel a sadness. You show me so that I can pray. I want everyone to want you and pursue you. You’re so good! I see the complacency. I see the “It don’t take all that” looks and feel the energy. I see the real and fake love even towards me. I can’t act on it except to show love. To pray. You told me some look at me in wonder. You told me they are curious. Some are downright irritated. Show love. Yes God. I will. I love that you are there. Because you ARE there. Your presence fills the place. Thank you for my church home. I spread my arms to you in submission. I scream Glory and Hallelujah! I don’t care who’s looking. If they knew what I did they would praise you too! You are amazing.
Sometimes I feel so much that it’s hard to contain. Lord, I love you. Yes, I will rest. You know I’m thinking of my book. My deadline. I know you’re laughing. You’re laughing because you got me. You know all things. You gave me the book so I know all will be well. You showed me a glimpse of the plan. You know I’m excited and nervous about it. I want women to read and be encouraged. There’s no turning back for me. Elevator with no floors. I’ll just keep rising but to your glory. Not mine. You know how I feel about that. Your will. Your way.Photo by Hanny Naibaho on Unsplash

Thank you for making me new.

I feel strong and bold knowing that if you’re for me, who can be against me? You said just “live it.” My fruits will be seen from my household and then outwards. I see it Lord. And, others see it. This is a testament to your goodness. You’ve come in like a whirlwind. I thank you. Everything’s falling in line. It fell apart just to come together.

Better than before. Stronger than before. Rest, you tell me. Abide in you. Be encouraged. I hear you Father.

The enemy tries me. But I’m aware. I’m not afraid of him. I see how he creeps in my weak moments. I may be in bed and sore but I can talk! My words have power! God I thank you! You’ve given me spiritual sisters. A bond that I’ve never experienced before. My sisters have been here taking care of me. It brings me to tears, the love they’ve showed me. You’ve blessed me with a spiritual mother who loves me truly. Who prays for me, speaks into my life, gives me advice and correction. She spends time with me. She is a mother of many and I’m thankful to be apart of her life.
Lord, I thank you. I will rest. I will abide. I will listen. I will obey. I will wait. I will acknowledge you in all my ways. I am grateful. You’ve orchestrated stops in my life that I didn’t understand at the time. Lord, I thank you. I remember the dream a few years ago when I asked for a medium slurpee and you gave me one so large I couldn’t even carry it lol. You said that eyes have not seen, nor ears heard, nor has it entered into my heart the things you’ve prepared for me because you know the thoughts you think towards me.
God, I thank you! For every trial, and every encounter I’ve had with you! I thank you for my struggles. I thank you for my wilderness. Sometimes you make me stay hidden. Yet, you allow me moments to come out. Lord, I thank you. I walk in a grace that I didn’t before. Continue to strengthen me. Continue to stretch me. Continue to mold me. Keep me on the Potters wheel. There is no real happiness apart from you. You offer true contentment. True joy and peace. You make me randomly smile. Lord, I love you. I thank you. Keep me forever at your feet. In Jesus name. Amen
Photo by Quino Al on Unsplash

There is more to this than meets the eye…

So, if you’ve been following my blog, you know that I don’t normally post more than once per week. But I had to update you guys on what’s going on.

I am a baby Vegan. Yes! My family and I, spearheaded by my husband Frank, have transitioned to Vegans this past Sunday. Just like that? you ask. Yes, just like that.


We made a decision. And everything in life comes down to decisions. You just have to make it and commit to it. This decision comes with many pros, one of which, is the delightful dishes that I have been cooking. Yum!! I have explored new beans, grains and vegetables that I’ve never eaten before. My oldest daughter said this was the most Veggies she has had in one week. lol That’s a good thing. My oldest daughter and I are sensitive to dairy, yet we love cheese 😦 But it’s all good. I look forward to making homemade Vegan cheese. Now, this is not up for debate, ok? If you’re not with the Vegan lifestyle, I am certainly not trying to convince you…but I digress.

Anyway, my youngest makes all the smoothies in the house. She is great at it. I am in the last stage of this cancer journey and a change of diet has been pressed on me by my doctors and I feel it in my spirit. Stop meat and diary! Really, limit meat, but stopping is good too, LOL. It is not an easy thing to do. Not alone anyway. But I have found it extremely easy to do since we’ve started it together as a family. Glory to God! I have 2 more surgeries. I will be done with everything as they told me in the beginning–one year. My children will undoubtedly eat other foods when they are not home. I’m not crazy. But hopefully, that will change as we continue on this journey.


I am so thankful to God because you never know how He is going to show up. You look for him and sometimes miss Him when He doesn’t come the way you expect.


This Veganism thing was Him showing up. I know you don’t understand, but I do and I am rejoicing and thankful. Just rejoice with me brothers and sisters. Rejoice for healthy living and unity. I’ve been wanting to do this, and have tried, but it’s difficult when you’re the only one. My husband took the lead and made it easy for us as a family to fall in line with him. And if you knew my husband you would know that this is amazing. He was King Carnivore! It’s not just becoming Vegan that is the exciting part. There is more to this than meets the eye. So I ask you, “Do you know what you’re looking at?” Do you see things in the Spirit?


It’s been an amazing week for my family, and we have all entered a new season of togetherness. A new season of fellowship and affinity. And it’s accelerating, just like God’s Spirit right now. If you can sense it. He is moving at an accelerated pace. Many things are taking place in the lives of Believers with eyes to see and ears to hear.

Family is everything. It’s the foundation. And having a family in order, the way God set it up, and wants it, is priceless. Not only for my husband and I, but for our children. We keep going forward, and we have come such a long way. I love our growth! I love God! He has a plan for us, that will certainly manifest. His word will not return to Him void, and will do what He set it to do. Believe that! We have shifted yet again. I’m sensitive to the shiftings. I see God. Not like I literally see Him standing here, but I see Him. I know when He is moving in my life. I sense it. and then His Spirit that resides in me confirms it. Some of you know exactly what I mean.

So I am closing this out.

Be blessed. I thank you for your continued support. Don’t forget to sign up for my mailing list.

 


(2 Cor 5:7) I hear many talking about blind faith, but real faith is not blind. Real faith is when we trust in what we see by the spirit. The Bible says to walk by faith and not by sight,  but this does not mean that faith is blind. It means that faith is not limited to physical sight. (cited from “The Importance of Spiritual sight,” by Rick Arnold -Thirsty Soul)

 

Enjoy your day.

It’s Enough!

 

2 Corinthians 12:9 AMP “but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My loving kindness and My mercy are more than enough–always available–regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me.”

As Believers, sometimes we feel that we are not enough, or aren’t doing enough. Don’t let us mess up, this leads to feelings of unworthiness. I’ve felt this way before and I thank God for helping me to see who I am and His love for me. We won’t always get it right. If you are experiencing this, do not isolate yourself. The enemy wants you to do that.
God says His grace is sufficient for us. That means it’s enough for us.
He is enough for us! We don’t need to have it all the way figured out. We have Jesus! That is good news. This good work that He started in us won’t be completed until Jesus comes back, as it says in Philippians 1:6.

We don’t have to beat ourselves up. He is enough! He fills in the gaps!

Let God show Himself in your life by understanding your weaknesses and bragging about His strength! Brag on Jesus! It doesn’t matter what situation you find yourself in. Where we are weak, He is strong. The Lord wants us to depend on Him and seek Him daily. He wants us to put Him first, knowing He is enough. I can’t stress that too much. Don’t walk around defeated. The enemy is defeated. Not you!

His love is enough! His mercy is enough! His kindness is enough!

Our Heavenly Father loves you with an everlasting love! Sometimes it’s hard to receive because you aren’t used to it, but slowly as you continue, day by day to trust Him with the 1 day, each day becomes easier. Trust Him with your 1 day. That means to take it day by day.
 You may have some vices you need to work out. The wonderful thing about submission to God is that He cleans you up. You can’t be too filthy. (However, don’t just stay in a place of willful sin. That isn’t what I am saying)
I use to believe that I was too messed up for the Lord to save and forgive, yet He forgave me. He saved me out of my mess. And some of my mess I was still doing after being saved, such as smoking marijuana and regularly drinking. I went back and forth with it, thinking I could control it or that God knows my heart so it’s ok. The Lord showed me that He didn’t want that. He showed me that they were strongholds. (I will discuss those in a separate post)
Glory to God because of His Love, and Mercy. It took longer for me to release myself from my past. I eventually forgave myself, and started walking in confidence.
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I believe the word when it says, If God is for me, who can be against me? (Romans 8:31)
Walk in that. Know it and believe it. Get it deep down in you. Once you realize who you are and who God is, you will not walk around condemned and defeated. You will not be a slave to your vices. You will be empowered. You will trust that God will perfect that which concerns you. (Psalms 138:8)
Don’t trust in anything more than God. Don’t love anything more than God. Don’t put anything before God. Acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will set your path straight. (Proverbs 3:6)
What the Lord has laid on my heart is His love for His children.

I wrote a prayer but add whatever you want to surrender to Him ok? Pray this out loud:
Heavenly Father, today I surrender my problems to you. I surrender my children, my job, my health, my husband, my car, my mind, my emotions, my life and my way! I surrender it all to you Father. I want your will to be done in my life. I say Yes to your will and yes to your way! I pray in the name of Jesus that you will go before me this day and set my path straight. Where I am weak you are strong. Show yourself to me today Father! Show your strength in my life, in the name of Jesus. You say in your word that you will teach me the ways of wisdom and lead me in straight paths. I’m standing on your word and believing you. You lead and I will follow trusting that you will never leave me or forsake me. Today, I will shift the atmosphere wherever I go because He who is in me is greater than He who is in the world.  I pray in the name of Jesus that my light shines ever so brightly and I show love. I thank you for striving with me. I thank you for your grace and your mercies that are new everyday. Thank you Lord and I give you the glory, honor and all the praise. Amen

This is a daily walk but literally take it day by day.
One day at a time. Trusting God this day. Taking up your cross this day. Leaning on Him this day.
Tomorrow will have its own worries. (Matthew 6:34)
Be blessed