Tag Archives: faith walk

Dear God

Dear God,

I’m trying. I’m resting in you. Today, I’m reflecting over it all. I know you’ve been with me. You’ve been by my side and in front of me. Lord, sometimes I want to scream! Sometimes I want to cry. I am so strong and I hold things together but I don’t always want to. I have to. People are watching: My husband and children are watching. My family, and church members are watching. Clients and strangers are watching. You have me on display.

I’m an example right? That’s what you told me. I’m an inspiration and have to show people how to walk this thing out. I’m a walking epistle. Yeah, and I’m all for that most days.

Lord, I’m trying!

Reflecting, as I lay here in pain. Right now I am fighting emotions. I am in my feelings. I’m down again with another surgery, just when I was feeling somewhat “normal” again. “You’re almost at the finish line,” my cousin says. Yes cousin, almost. But what’s the finish line? Truly? I will always have to deal with something since the diagnosis. A year ago today I had tests done to determine if I had breast cancer. The results of course were positive. And thus the journey began. A new journey. Don’t get me wrong Lord I’m thankful to be alive. I’m thankful for growth. But my body seems like it has never recovered. I don’t care what I look like on the outside, I don’t feel the same, and it’s weird. Well, each day is better than the last. I thank you for that. Thank you for grace.
Photo by Diana Simumpande on Unsplash
 
I’m a different me. A better me? Sure, spirituality I am. Mentally and emotionally, I’m stable. I’m sane where I use to feel insane sometimes. Physically I am not better. I feel old and achy. I wish I was courageous enough to go with no boobs. This surgery sucks. But I’m not sure I want that or just want to be left alone and speaking from that place. Right now Lord I’m overwhelmed with my limitations from surgery. I’m so active that sitting down is foreign. I feel unproductive, and for a productive girl it’s hard to sit. But it’s needed.

Be still and know….Yes, God I hear you.

Lord, you’ve allowed so much to happen to me. So much…You say, I’m stronger than I know? Yes, I am starting to be aware.
I miss my mom. I wish I could talk to her…hug her.. hear her say my name and laugh with me. My mom understood me best. I miss my dad. He was so fun. Just a cool guy. I cry for them. Everything happened so fast Lord. Just a year. Lord help me! Thank you for being my Comforter. Thank you for your peace that surpasses all understanding.
Before I was saved I didn’t have all these problems. Now, I’ve had to close my business. I’ve lost my mom and dad and fighting a disease that kills people every day. Yes, I’m in remission, but my doctor says my reoccurrence rate is high so she watching me for 5 years. That is on my mind. I must have another surgery next month. That is on my mind. Whose report, you say? Well, I believe Yours, of course. I’m just reflecting.

All will be well! You are my Healer. Yes Lord. I know. I thank you.

I’m anxious for it to be over. What a long year it’s been Lord. Not to you though. A day is as 1,000 years for you.
Be anxious for nothing, yes I know…I hear you…
This journey is so rough emotionally and no one around me understands. They love me and they do the best they can. I love them.

Lord, I’m trying. I lay here trying to be comfortable when all I can do is stay on my back propped up on pillows. I can’t raise my arms. Can’t bend down or lift anything…Yes, I know it’s temporary. I try to stay focused on that fact. Yet sleep eludes me when I close my eyes.

I am thankful my daughter is driving herself to work and school. What a blessing! …Hating that I have to rely so much on her when she’s home to clean and cook. She’s tired. She is the sweetest and does so much for her mommy. My youngest daughter pokes her lips out when asked. That’s teenagers for you. But she does it – sometimes joyfully, sometimes begrudgingly. She’s a sweetheart too but she has a lot of my sass that’s for sure. But honestly, why do I have to ask anyway? They know I keep my house clean. Just do it! Because I can’t. I take good care of them all! It can get frustrating for me. Photo by Jad Limcaco on Unsplash

Lord I’m trying!

You say not to worry and just rest. So what if there’s a little clutter? So what if there’s a few dishes.
Don’t worry. Heal daughter.
You know what? I’m tired of being poked and prodded. Tired of surgeries.
You say to be thankful and I am. I’m thankful that I have a husband who loves me and works hard to take care of us. I’m thankful for my beautiful children. I’m thankful to be alive.
You know what? I feel guilty sometimes that I can’t do the regular things around the house. I feel guilty that I’m not ironing my husbands uniforms. I know I can’t right now. I know I’m limited. It’s temporary. Yes God. I know.
It’s impatience? Forgive me Lord. Sit and stay in your Presence? Focus on you? Yes God. Have mercy Lord.
But, I wish I could ask for help. Lord it’s so hard to ask for these things. My momma did that to me. There is still pride in me Lord. Continue to purge me.
Thank you for letting me vent Lord. Thank you for being a present help in time of trouble.

Sometimes it’s lonely…this route you’re taking me… these wonders you’re showing me. Who would believe me? People believe what they see but you’ve shown me to believe when I don’t see.

You let me see in the Spirit. You give me amazing dreams. I can’t articulate your greatness.
Lord, I’m trying. You’ve told me to rest and not worry. And you know that I do that. Forgive me in this moment. I’m venting. I haven’t slept well. My body aches. I hate complaining. I feel weak complaining.
This is all apart of my process. I’m on a journey. You’ve taken me to a higher level and you aren’t done. I’m grateful. I like to speak open and honest Lord. My concern, always, is that I’m not bringing reproach to your name. I don’t want to do that. Only Glory.
I think of you all the time. All the time. Above anything or anyone.

You call me faithful. Well Lord after all I’ve been through, all I’ve seen, all you’ve brought me out of, how can I not be faithful?

Lord I’m trying!

This thing is an everyday faith walk. No joke. No lie. And I can’t make it looking at anyone else. Not my husband, children, friends, family, or church members. People let me down. I’ve let them down. But you… you are constant. You don’t change. Lord I thank you!!! I give you glory, honor and praise cause you alone are good! Thank you for capturing each one of my tears.

Thank you for changing my life!
I know that you’ve allowed me to go through so much to be a testimony of your goodness. A testament to your ability to keep one in perfect peace, despite any trial. To show that you are a Deliverer, a Healer and Way-maker. Today, I am still in perfect peace. Even now. My joy overshadows any sadness I may temporarily experience.
It’s so different in my household Lord. You’ve made me a housewife. I laugh. Who wanted that? Not me. I’m a career woman. Right? Ha! Lord I’m trying! You’ve shown me that you are my Jehovah Jireh! My provider. The way my income set up, it could be no one or nothing but you Lord!
Why are my thoughts so different? I’m kinder, more patient. Now, I’m thinking of my family. I’m putting my husband first. My children… I use to put the salon first. Put me first. Put getting money first. I used to be selfish Lord. I use to be cut throat. I could cut someone with my words. I can admit it now. I chased money. I loved the freedom it afforded me. Yet I was bound! Lord I thank you! I chase you now! You provide for me and I am not yet what I will become.
.Photo by Jeremy Vessey on Unsplash

I’ve looked at the woman in the mirror. I’ve faced her head on.

What have you done to me?

You’ve made me soft! I don’t even argue anymore. The fighter doesn’t even argue or fight! Glory! I give a soft answer. Only you God! I want to cook and clean for them. I want to spend time with them. I use to spend so much time at the salon. It was my getaway. Lord you’ve made me a wife. A happy wife! And in response my husband has become more affectionate and loving towards me. There is nothing he wouldn’t do for me. Even cleaning if I asked lol. But I get it. The man works very hard outside our home. I know I’m loved. I feel it. I don’t question my husbands love for me. Even when he’s overwhelmed. This has been hard for him as well. I pray for him. I keep him before you. Strengthen him Lord!

Lord, you are something else. Now I’m smiling. I love you. I love the new mind you’ve given me. I love my forgiving heart.
You’ve allowed so much to fall on me because I can handle it. I’m pretty strong but where I’m weak you show your strength. Lord, I thank you. I’m leaning on you and not my own understanding. My understanding leads to confusion. You aren’t the author of confusion nor do you operate in it. Glory! I know when I’m operating in my flesh. Thank you for discernment. I console myself knowing that you will perfect that which concerns me. I know that you will keep me in perfect peace when my eyes are stayed upon you.
I’ve become peculiar. I’ve always been different, but now I’m “peculiar“ as one of your chosen. That’s what you said. You said, I’m not only called, but I’m chosen. I find comfort in your validation. I find comfort in knowing who I am. I said life was easier before being saved. Not true. It was me doing what I wanted on my own terms not knowing who I was. It was me struggling to find identity through men, women and also career. It was me smoking my days away thinking I’m living it up cause I could afford the good stuff. It was me making money my god. Me with a veil over my eyes.

Lord, I thank you

Thinking because I was making the devil’s money that I was good. I didn’t have to ask anyone for anything. I was truly living in deception. That’s what I know now. Lord, I thank you! The biggest thing you’ve done for me is to change my outlook. I can see! Not only with how I see myself but how I see everything else. I’m walking in complete transparency and for a girl who lived most of her life lying and hiding that’s huge!
I have these moments of reflection. I may even experience frustration and sadness. I’m thankful that they are fleeting moments. I am so aware that it makes me not fit in anywhere. I can’t say things because you’ve told me not too. I’m obedient above all. I fear you. I fear you more than I fear perception.
Lord I go to church and you’ve opened my eyes even there so that I see. Sometimes, I don’t want to see. Seeing can hurt. I feel a sadness. You show me so that I can pray. I want everyone to want you and pursue you. You’re so good! I see the complacency. I see the “It don’t take all that” looks and feel the energy. I see the real and fake love even towards me. I can’t act on it except to show love. To pray. You told me some look at me in wonder. You told me they are curious. Some are downright irritated. Show love. Yes God. I will. I love that you are there. Because you ARE there. Your presence fills the place. Thank you for my church home. I spread my arms to you in submission. I scream Glory and Hallelujah! I don’t care who’s looking. If they knew what I did they would praise you too! You are amazing.
Sometimes I feel so much that it’s hard to contain. Lord, I love you. Yes, I will rest. You know I’m thinking of my book. My deadline. I know you’re laughing. You’re laughing because you got me. You know all things. You gave me the book so I know all will be well. You showed me a glimpse of the plan. You know I’m excited and nervous about it. I want women to read and be encouraged. There’s no turning back for me. Elevator with no floors. I’ll just keep rising but to your glory. Not mine. You know how I feel about that. Your will. Your way.Photo by Hanny Naibaho on Unsplash

Thank you for making me new.

I feel strong and bold knowing that if you’re for me, who can be against me? You said just “live it.” My fruits will be seen from my household and then outwards. I see it Lord. And, others see it. This is a testament to your goodness. You’ve come in like a whirlwind. I thank you. Everything’s falling in line. It fell apart just to come together.

Better than before. Stronger than before. Rest, you tell me. Abide in you. Be encouraged. I hear you Father.

The enemy tries me. But I’m aware. I’m not afraid of him. I see how he creeps in my weak moments. I may be in bed and sore but I can talk! My words have power! God I thank you! You’ve given me spiritual sisters. A bond that I’ve never experienced before. My sisters have been here taking care of me. It brings me to tears, the love they’ve showed me. You’ve blessed me with a spiritual mother who loves me truly. Who prays for me, speaks into my life, gives me advice and correction. She spends time with me. She is a mother of many and I’m thankful to be apart of her life.
Lord, I thank you. I will rest. I will abide. I will listen. I will obey. I will wait. I will acknowledge you in all my ways. I am grateful. You’ve orchestrated stops in my life that I didn’t understand at the time. Lord, I thank you. I remember the dream a few years ago when I asked for a medium slurpee and you gave me one so large I couldn’t even carry it lol. You said that eyes have not seen, nor ears heard, nor has it entered into my heart the things you’ve prepared for me because you know the thoughts you think towards me.
God, I thank you! For every trial, and every encounter I’ve had with you! I thank you for my struggles. I thank you for my wilderness. Sometimes you make me stay hidden. Yet, you allow me moments to come out. Lord, I thank you. I walk in a grace that I didn’t before. Continue to strengthen me. Continue to stretch me. Continue to mold me. Keep me on the Potters wheel. There is no real happiness apart from you. You offer true contentment. True joy and peace. You make me randomly smile. Lord, I love you. I thank you. Keep me forever at your feet. In Jesus name. Amen
Photo by Quino Al on Unsplash

The Authenticity of the Writer

Why I write

I enjoy writing immensely. If I could just write and that was all, there would be no issue. Regrettably, that is not the case. Being obedient to the call that the Lord has placed on me is exciting and uncomfortable at the same time. Granted, I have been speaking my mind, and posting scriptures for years on my personal platform. However, using a professional platform to showcase my writing leaves me vulnerable and open in a way that I didn’t feel before. Even so, this is what has been asked of me.

I know that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. This is not in question. At the same time, I am being pulled to the front for all to see. As a result, I feel butterflies in my stomach after I publish my posts. I wonder if it will be received and if people will actually get it? “Am I qualified to write books as the Lord says that I will do?” These thoughts and more cross my mind. In any case, I believe the word when it says that God does not call the qualified, but qualifies the called. I can’t boast in myself, but in God! (1 Corinthians 1: 27-31)

The power of my Testimony                        

My testimony is powerful and will help many. I believe that with all that is in me. Be that as it may, it will also get me some side eye from the church folk. Yet I must fearlessly forge ahead! In addition, God blesses and adds no sorrow, so it will definitely work out. That is not the issue. He told me that I would have to be bold and courageous for this next season. Strangely enough, I happen to be both bold and courageous LOL. Truly. If you are a follower of my blog or even my personal social media, you can attest to that.

Authenticity is important in the christian walk. I remember being one way at home and another in public. Do you know how taxing that is? I’m sure some of you do. Some of you are that way. I am thankful to be continually pressing forward in the freedom that truth has given me. In fact, being truthful and leaning on God is how I live my life now. Of course that wasn’t always the case, yet I’m thankful to say I’ve progressed in the Lord during my Cancer journey more than I ever have prior to. (Psalm 107:1-2) (image source: Google.com)

My Progression

As a matter of fact, tragedy opened my eyes and ears to see and hear Him. Furthermore, I am home and not running the streets or in the salon from sun up to sundown. Instead, I am with my family. The growth that has been attained in my household is enough for me to shout, “Hallelujah!” Of course nothing is perfect, but let me tell you! The way my husband and I communicate with each other now versus a year ago is amazing progress. We are applying the word to our marriage, and as a result we are seeing the fruits. (Matthew 19:4-6) What gets me the most irritated in my home is not my husband but my children LOL. Discipline and consistency is what I am working on with them. (image source: Pinterest)

Who I’m writing to

I speak and write on these things to be encouraging to the body of Christ, but especially to married women. Consequently, I mostly relate to married women, as I have been married and divorced and married again. I write to the married christian woman who is not where she wants to be in God.

I also relate to women in general who are fighting the good fight of faith! (1 Timothy 6:12)

These women have a past that they need to forgive themselves for. As a matter of fact, they may have a “present” that needs forgiven. A “present,” that is rocky and bound with strongholds. I’ve been there too.

Jesus has already forgiven us, but we need to forgive ourselves and go forth with what He has called us to do. (2Corinthians 5:17) (Ephesians 1:7)

Transitioning

God is calling us higher as a body, and I recognize that. He is moving in a beautiful and miraculous way. The sermons the last few weeks at my church had many confirmations for me. In fact, this past Sunday spoke volumes to my spirit. It was the Spirit of God speaking through Pastor.

The Lord has revealed Himself to me in ways that have blown my mind. For this reason alone, my life will never be the same. He has changed the entire course of my life.

For example, I am a full time homemaker and writer. Who would have thought that would be my life? Not this lady. I just wanted to be in the salon, and write at my leisure as I’ve been doing for years. And not to knock housewives, because my mom was one, but that was not my plan. (Proverbs 16:1)

Still, it has been a great experience thus far. At home and the writing aspect. Of course with the writing, I have to keep learning the professional way to do things to pen a book. In fact, my writing keeps improving every time I sit down and type. Thank you Jesus! I am smiling as I write this because I know what He said to me. The vision is big and I only know in part, yet without the Lord it will not happen. (Proverbs 16:1) (Psalm 127:1)

At this point it’s all about obedience. It’s not about how I feel. All things considered, if you leave it up to me, I would still be in the salon and writing my little tidbits here and there on my facebook page. 

But God!

In conclusion

Finally you guys, I want to thank you. I know some look at me as if I’m crazy walking away from my salon to sit home and write. You know how I know that? Because I see some doing it when I tell them that I am not returning to the salon. They ask how can I leave something that was certain, for uncertainty? I try to explain this faith walk that I am on; however, everyone can’t receive it.

If you happen to know me, and you’re wondering what is going on, I will tell you like this: I am living my life in a way that I never have before. Freely! I am loving myself in a way that I wasn’t capable of before. Truly! In fact, my husband is loving me in a way that I didn’t know was possible. I would tell you that God has been working on me and through me, and I am letting Him. He’s stripped me bare and turned me to the mirror to face myself. Furthermore, I trust God. I am on that staircase walking up when I can’t see the next step. (Hebrews 11:1)

 

 

 

It’s Time to Transition

 

A white beautiful butterfly landed on my right shoulder this morning. I was outside moving a chair around so that I am not directly in the sun while having my coffee and morning scripture. Direct sunlight for me hurts my skin terribly. I miss it-the warmth of sitting in the sun typing on my laptop;however, It’s temporary. Trusting God, knowing, spiritually I am healed, yet It still has to manifest in the natural.

My body has been attacked throughout the years, with this cancer being the biggest attack yet. I can withstand because God is with me. He has given me strength and a strong bold voice. As a result of walking seriously with Him, I know who I am and what I am supposed to do. I am ready to transition. Actually, it has already begun. In the midst of this cancer journey, I have matured and blossomed into a beautiful butterfly.

I have left the cocoon.

I have entered into a new season in my life. I’m sensitive to the shifting. We as a church body have entered into a new season as well.

God is taking us higher in:

  • worship
  • prayer
  • our sensitivity to hear Him
  • understanding of our gifts and callings
  • our knowledge of sanctification
  • bringing us from the back to the front
  • seeing and hearing the world with spiritual eyes and ears

A revival is coming all over and those who are called by God’s name will rise up. That’s a word that I received during prayer a few months ago. He is raising up His people all over the world. It doesn’t matter about race or gender. It will be those who are His. Those who belong to Him. It’s not about titles either. God will use the foolish to confound the wise. He is raising and also removing as it relates to titles and positions.

His Spirit is moving. Spend more time with Him. Go in your prayer closet. Read your word. Stop riding the fence and the line and get in position. We are called to be separate. Remember we’re in the world but not of the world. We can’t be deceived and so caught up by what’s going on out here either. There will always be something because of the times that we are living in. That’s another topic for a different day, but be watchful and careful. Keep your eyes on the Lord.

 

Don’t miss what God is doing by being carnal. He does not operate in that. You will miss it. God is calling us higher!

 

I am writing to the church body, as a sister and a fellow follower of Jesus. You cannot do as the world does. Sanctification is required! Obedience is required. We as Christians are great about wanting God to save our souls, but not about Him being Lord over our lives. We don’t want to be told what to do. One wonderful thing about our God is His love and mercy for us. He forgives us. But we can’t live in continual sin.

Do you want to do right? Cry out to the Lord for help. He will help you. But if you are so intent on doing what the world does, suppressing the truth by your wickedness, guess what He will do? He will give you over to your reprobate mind. (Romans 1:28 –And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;)

 

I am saying this all in love. From someone who has experienced so much, both in and out of the church. I was the one who thought I could dabble in the world because I did so much for God in His church-working and doing whatever was asked of me. I was baptized and Holy Ghost filled. A saved Christian. But I was lukewarm and rode that fence. You know what that is called? It’s called having a form of Godliness but proving FALSE to it’s power. Don’t fool yourself. I thank God for waking me up. I thank God for His mercy in my life and yours. As a child of God, my commission is to love God and my neighbor.

God has put a word in me, and called me to be obedient to what He said. He has given me gifts and is stirring them up.

Our souls are at stake. The enemy is a cunning, manipulative LIAR! I used to believe the lie. It’s so subtle, while you’re thinking it’s innocent. He uses the same old tactics he used with Eve. It’s “Oh you can have this every now and then.” Also for me, “You have a marijuana card so you legal. You following the laws of the land. You can smoke,” and “The bible doesn’t say this or that.” I used to look for specifics, as many of us do to justify our actions. We get upset by a message like this. Don’t get upset, get convicted so that it brings about change.

Some things are principles in the bible, and just because we can do anything doesn’t mean we should. (1 Corinthians 6:12)

I believed those lies. You think of your church attendance and your activity, not understanding that doesn’t mean a thing if you are separated from God by carnality.  We are dealing with an old foe and we need to know how to fight Him. God is loving and merciful but He is also a God of judgement. He is our Father and we get disciplined by Him.

Hebrews 10:26 says, “For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins. God was still with me even through my mess, but once I fully committed to Him, my eyes and ears were spiritually opened and I truly am seeing who He is and who I am.  As a result, I DO NOT want to live in sin. I want to live right, and I do it out of love for Him.

Make up your mind. He won’t force you.

Will He hear your prayers? Can you get one up? Do you have power?  Dunamis power! Ask yourself these questions. Are you going through the same things over and over? Do you have joy? Or are circumstances weighing you down? Jesus said that we would do even greater things than He did. He said that we can have an abundant life now. Have you seen this manifest in your life?  Can He trust you? Will you be obedient to Him? He doesn’t want you bound. Are you dealing with something that you can’t break free from? I know what it is like to have strongholds.

It feels amazing to be free!

You think I am judging? I’m not. You guys need to read your word. I am speaking on what I know from reading my bible, experiences, word from the pulpit and directly spoken to me during my prayer time. Sin is Sin. James 4:17 says, “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him, it is sin...” Hence, don’t live in it. If you look at your life and the only difference between you and a worldly person without God is the fact that you go to church, then reevaluate your life.  What does it profit a man to gain the whole world but lose his soul? (Matthew 16:26)

I pray for us all. I pray not only for my natural family, but my spiritual family, in and out of the building of my church. God has called me to write. I write when He says write. Furthermore, when He wants me to verbally speak, He will open the platform for me to do so.

He wants us to rise up. This is a spiritual war. There are only 2 Gods, Jehovah and Satan, and 2 roads: Wide and narrow…

Matthew 7:13-14 says “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.  But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”

So many talk about us in the church. They call us hypocrites. So did I at one point. I saw people that were ‘in the church’ living as I did. They partied, smoked, drank, and fornicated as I did, among other things.

Why do I want to go to your church again? Why do I want to follow your God again?

This is about saving souls! This is about God. I love you all, I promise I do. I will be obedient to God and I care what HE thinks about me, consequently, so should you. Why do I say that? The word says at Matthew 10:28, And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.~

Matthew 7: 21-23 says “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

Don’t be a worker of lawlessness. It’s time to transition into your rightful position in God. He is taking us to another level in this season and seasons to come. You must submit to His Spirit. Submit to God. Be willing to let Him use you. Be Obedient.

People need you, whether in your family, community or job.

 

We are the light. Let’s shine!

 

In conclusion, If you want to do better and you are trying but find it hard to do, go to God. Tell Him that you want more of Him and less of you. Tell Him that you repent and want to do better. Mean it. He will know. Make sure that your circle of influence consists of people that are doing better, so to speak. People that you can learn and grow spiritually from. That is a major piece that I will discuss in another post. Get in a bible believing and following church. Don’t forsake the gathering at the building. Contrary to what some say, it’s necessary. You cannot do this alone, nor can you do it watching preachers on tv all the time. Basically, you need to be real. Real with yourself and with God. Be honest about where you are and where you want to go. God will help you. He will send the right people to you , and create the right circumstances for you. God may give you instructructions, follow them. Obedience is key in our walk with God. And never forget that He loves you.

Let’s be humble and seek God’s face.

 

(I originally wrote most of this August 19, 2017, and added to it today. I cannot alway release what I write right away-)

 

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I understand that my posts are not for everyone. They are for who they’re for. If you have an ear to hear

“You want me to do what, God?”

How many of you have received a word from the Lord that gave you pause? That made you say, “You want me to do what, God?”

I have.

I have received a few of those words, that I didn’t quite understand, yet most times, I obeyed. The times that I didn’t obey, I paid the price. We do suffer many things, not from the enemy or the Lord, but by our own decisions. You do know that, right? Some things are just us. We need to get out of our own way.

The Lord says that obedience is better than sacrifice. (1 Samuel  15:22)

Also, understand these 3 things. (I cited these 3 from jolly notes.com, but agree with them 100%)

#1 God is still God – God is still on the throne
Psalm 46:10, ESV Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!

#2 God Knows. God Understands.
It may not make sense to us, but it makes sense to God. There are some things that we just don’t have the capacity to fully understand right now. God may have allowed something to happen, but it doesn’t mean it makes God happy.
Isaiah 55:8-9, ESV For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

#3 God loves you very deeply – His love for us is profound, incomprehensible, unfathomable and everlasting
Jeremiah 31:3, NIV …I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.


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Knowing these things, and also referencing the many times that He has shown up in my life, leading and directing me, making things work out for my good, I know that I can trust Him.

Trust and faith is necessary to be obedient to God. You must believe that He will do what He says He will, even if it doesn’t look like it. You must trust His word.

Are there scenarios in the bible that I can reference? Sure, lets take a look at a few of my favorites from the Old and New Testaments:

  • God told Noah that He would cause it to rain and flood the earth for 40 days and 40 nights and to build an ark. Noah hadn’t experienced those weather conditions on earth before. He built it. He was ridiculed, yet he was obedient. He and his family were saved. He did everything God told him to do. Regardless of what he actually saw. He trusted God.
  • What about Moses? He was told to lead the people out of Egypt. Moses was not well spoken and did not think himself qualified. He said as much to God. God allowed his brother Aaron to assist but he still used Moses. Moses was successful in leading the children of Israel from Egypt. God did many signs and wonders thru Moses,
  • Abraham was told to sacrifice his son. His only son. The son of promise. He was obedient. He walked 3 days with his son to the mountain. His son asked where the sacrifice was and He told him that God would provide. He had so much trust in God. That was trust from a hard place. Can you imagine? All of the families on earth have been blessed because of Abraham, the father of faith.
  • Gideon was hiding in the cave when he saw an angel. The angel called him brave. He said for him to go boldly and save his people, the Israelites, from the hands of the Midianites. He said that the Lord was with him. He obeyed. He was victorious, and of all the fifteen men who ruled as Judges of Israel, Gideon, the fifth Judge, was the greatest, in courage, in wisdom, and in faith in God.
  • Joseph was told that his wife would be pregnant by the Holy Spirit. He was told that he had to stay with her. You know Joseph had a hard time with that one. He was obedient and Emmanuel – God with us, Jesus, was born into the world. Hallelujah!
  • Peter when asked to meet Jesus on the water is another example. I can just imagine his face LOL. “You want me to come out there?” “How?” (paraphrasing and emphasis mine) He was obedient and he walked on the water just like Jesus!
  • Ananias was asked by God to go to Saul aka Paul. Ananias had heard of Saul and he was hesitant. Sauls reputation as a murderer of those in The Way, or the Christians was well known. God told him that Saul was chosen by Him. He blinded Saul and wanted Ananias to go lay hands on him that he may regain his sight and also so he can be filled with the Holy Spirit. He was obedient.

There are many more throughout the bible. I want to show a history of how God deals with us. Obedience is absolutely necessary. Do not make mistakes about it.


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God told me to leave my salon. A salon that He gave me. He said that He was shifting me-closing that door and opening another. I did not understand at first. I understand now. My clients, some family and friends, didn’t understand, and probably still don’t. My answer to them is that I’m being obedient. He didn’t give them the vision, He gave it to me. So I can’t expect them to understand. That is the best way I can say it, because that’s the truth. There is a scripture in John where Jesus says to his disciples that you may not understand now but later you will. Isn’t it like that? We don’t always get it at first. Sometimes we do, other times we are left asking, “What’s going on?” Let us never lose sight that Gods ways are not our ways, nor His thoughts our thoughts. Although we must have the mind of Christ, our Father in Heaven is still way higher than anything we can imagine. We are limited but we serve a LIMITLESS God!

It is imperative to walk in faith. If we walk by sight we won’t move. We will be fearful because of what we see. Or what others may say. We would be fearful because our mind will tell us that we can’t make it. Or that it’s too uncomfortable. I thought I would be a hairstylist and then teach hair for the rest of my life.  I was ok with that. I love doing hair. God had a plan all along. The more I walk with Him, the more I gain understanding. Even allowing this cancer to hit my body. He allowed me to suffer. But I am thankful for this suffering. It has opened my eyes and brought me to a level that I never was prior to this. He never left me, but told me it’s a process I must go through and it will be for His Glory! I am still going through, but all is well. I am clay. I am on the Potter’s wheel.

I used to write when I was younger, and my mom was a writer, but she didn’t do anything with it. God told me the same gifts He gave her, He gave to me but greater and I will do something with mine, for HIS GLORY! Glory to God!!  As Believers, we know that God knows the plans that He has for us. He knows. Even if we don’t. Our position should just be, “Yes God!”, ” Yes to your will and yes to your way.” Now, in saying, “Yes”, we don’t know which way things are going to go. It’s a faith walk, regardless of what is happening. He says if we put Him first all other things will be added. I’m putting Him first and believing Him on His word. Whatever is in store for me will be good. No doubt about that. It has already started to manifest. I see it in the Spirit. I see so much in the Spirit now. I’m less attached to the world, more attached to Him. The visions I have received concerning my life are scary, because they are big. I have written down what I want (making it plain.) I know that they can only take place with God spearheading, going ahead of me and making my path straight. It takes me being obedient to His will and living my life the way He requires. There is no compromise with God.

The Anointing cost! 

Have you received a word that you don’t quite understand? Is there a decision for you to make? Don’t trust in anything or anyone more than God.

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We like to stay where it’s comfortable. But all progress takes place outside the comfort zone. You may have a dream or some desires that have not been fulfilled yet. Seek God. Trust Him. Walk in His ways. He is the one that gives us success. He is the one that causes us to be promoted. (Deuteronomy 8:18) His answers are yes, no and wait. His way is always better. Better than anything I could imagine. Our scope is so limited. We limited by what we see around us. He is a God that does not grow weary. He is an everlasting God. He sees the end from the beginning. There is comfort in that. There is comfort in knowing that the Creator of Heaven and Earth loves us so much. That He knows the number of hairs on our heads. He knows what we need. He says that He knows how to give good gifts to us. He can’t lie.

Trust Him.

 

There is more to this than meets the eye…

So, if you’ve been following my blog, you know that I don’t normally post more than once per week. But I had to update you guys on what’s going on.

I am a baby Vegan. Yes! My family and I, spearheaded by my husband Frank, have transitioned to Vegans this past Sunday. Just like that? you ask. Yes, just like that.


We made a decision. And everything in life comes down to decisions. You just have to make it and commit to it. This decision comes with many pros, one of which, is the delightful dishes that I have been cooking. Yum!! I have explored new beans, grains and vegetables that I’ve never eaten before. My oldest daughter said this was the most Veggies she has had in one week. lol That’s a good thing. My oldest daughter and I are sensitive to dairy, yet we love cheese 😦 But it’s all good. I look forward to making homemade Vegan cheese. Now, this is not up for debate, ok? If you’re not with the Vegan lifestyle, I am certainly not trying to convince you…but I digress.

Anyway, my youngest makes all the smoothies in the house. She is great at it. I am in the last stage of this cancer journey and a change of diet has been pressed on me by my doctors and I feel it in my spirit. Stop meat and diary! Really, limit meat, but stopping is good too, LOL. It is not an easy thing to do. Not alone anyway. But I have found it extremely easy to do since we’ve started it together as a family. Glory to God! I have 2 more surgeries. I will be done with everything as they told me in the beginning–one year. My children will undoubtedly eat other foods when they are not home. I’m not crazy. But hopefully, that will change as we continue on this journey.


I am so thankful to God because you never know how He is going to show up. You look for him and sometimes miss Him when He doesn’t come the way you expect.


This Veganism thing was Him showing up. I know you don’t understand, but I do and I am rejoicing and thankful. Just rejoice with me brothers and sisters. Rejoice for healthy living and unity. I’ve been wanting to do this, and have tried, but it’s difficult when you’re the only one. My husband took the lead and made it easy for us as a family to fall in line with him. And if you knew my husband you would know that this is amazing. He was King Carnivore! It’s not just becoming Vegan that is the exciting part. There is more to this than meets the eye. So I ask you, “Do you know what you’re looking at?” Do you see things in the Spirit?


It’s been an amazing week for my family, and we have all entered a new season of togetherness. A new season of fellowship and affinity. And it’s accelerating, just like God’s Spirit right now. If you can sense it. He is moving at an accelerated pace. Many things are taking place in the lives of Believers with eyes to see and ears to hear.

Family is everything. It’s the foundation. And having a family in order, the way God set it up, and wants it, is priceless. Not only for my husband and I, but for our children. We keep going forward, and we have come such a long way. I love our growth! I love God! He has a plan for us, that will certainly manifest. His word will not return to Him void, and will do what He set it to do. Believe that! We have shifted yet again. I’m sensitive to the shiftings. I see God. Not like I literally see Him standing here, but I see Him. I know when He is moving in my life. I sense it. and then His Spirit that resides in me confirms it. Some of you know exactly what I mean.

So I am closing this out.

Be blessed. I thank you for your continued support. Don’t forget to sign up for my mailing list.

 


(2 Cor 5:7) I hear many talking about blind faith, but real faith is not blind. Real faith is when we trust in what we see by the spirit. The Bible says to walk by faith and not by sight,  but this does not mean that faith is blind. It means that faith is not limited to physical sight. (cited from “The Importance of Spiritual sight,” by Rick Arnold -Thirsty Soul)

 

Enjoy your day.