Tag Archives: Grace

10 ways to handle offense

 

 
 
How many people can relate to this statement? “I’m not going back to church.” or “Only hypocrites in church.” Many people have in the past or are currently experiencing church hurt. In the world right now, there are people speaking of it everywhere. Twitter even had a hashtag trending on #Churchhurt. There are celebrities discussing this topic.
 

Offense

 
Everyone, at one point or another, deal with offense, because it happens daily.  We can’t hide from it, and can only control our reaction and response to it. (Photo by Stephane YAICH on Unsplash)
 
But, what I want you to recognize is the testing that comes along daily in your life. How you handle offense is a test. Don’t walk around “in your feelings” hindering your progress in life. The devil will attack you in that area, and create opportunities for offense.
Likewise, God will use those same opportunities for you to rise above the offense. Pay attention. Everyone isn’t against you. Some things have nothing to do with you. In fact, some people internalize everything.
 
How do I know this? I have first hand knowledge. I was taking everything personally. It would cause many issues in my marriage and in my mind. I couldn’t hear criticism from my husband and would listen to respond instead of to understand.  I would interrupt often in defense of myself. The Lord, through my different experiences, matured me in this area. Sometimes it still rears its ugly head, but I see it, and handle it. It no longer handles me. Glory to God!
 

Dealing with Offense

 
Have you had friends or family members that you extend yourself to but it isn’t reciprocated? Or people use you because you are kind? I have, and it’s easy to get offended in those instances. But actually it’s better to take inventory of yourself. Are you too accessible, and say “Yes” too much for fear of offending? Pay attention to how you move. You may be getting offended by something that you are allowing. They may actually be oblivious to it.
 
Have you ever cringed in your seat, hearing the Pastor say something that you think is about you? And could very well be about you. How do you handle that? Do you get angry? Offended? The spirit of offense will have his way all over you and most will let him. Offense will block you from receiving the message from the Pastor. He/She may not have been trying to offend you, but that is the way most will take it. Offense will blind, hinder and bind you up. It will dictate your thoughts, moves, and emotions. Don’t let it. Be free!
 
We use our social media as a venting platform many times. I read reactions to offense on social media. For example, we react to events that happen to us before first thinking and calming down. We post hastily and may later have regrets, because we are reacting in the moment. I wrote a post about this here. God sees everything. No one is immune from His correction.
 
Share your story to edify the body; don’t blast to vent. We don’t want to tear people down. Especially those in the faith. Don’t sow discord. We do reap what we sow.
 

Brief Experience

 
I have heard countless stories about church hurt and offense. Haven’t you? We’ve all experienced offense. Let me share one with you.
 
A sister spoke to me in a disrespectful way in front of others at church. It offended me. I did ask to speak privately with her and told her how I didn’t like the way she spoke to me. (Matthew 18:15) We are both grown, even though she was older than I was, it was no excuse. There is a way to get your point across without being mean and disrespectful. She apologized but how many know, it didn’t leave me right away? I’d seen her do that to others. I avoided her while at church, but it seemed as if everywhere I looked she was there. I said, “Lord, you have a sense of humor.
 
You see, He was stretching me. Hiding and avoidance is not a mature way to handle things. Offense has no place in the believer. I let it go. This isn’t about the sister. This is about me and how I handled that situation. There is always a situation. What God showed me is that like He is working on me, He was working on her. We are all flawed. I am to have compassion, and pray for them. Once I started doing that things changed in my life. It isn’t easy to pray for people who hurt you, but God says for us to do just that in His Word. (Luke 6:27-29) I asked Him to let me see people as He sees them. I forgave and I forgive throughout the day. I hope others do the same for me. No one wants their prayers hindered. (Matthew 5:23)
 

My outlook changed

 
In these situations and countless others, I remind myself how we are all one body, and the Lord isn’t finished with us. I want you to remember this also. I am able to hear criticism, and handle disagreements. When things fall apart, many times, it’s to come together again. In auxiliaries, remember that you are working unto the Lord. Actually, keep that outlook even in your secular job. It will keep you together.
 
The Lord was teaching me something. Is He likewise teaching you? He is always toughening up my skin for the journey ahead. I get it. I must also walk in meekness and gentleness, which are fruits of the Spirit. This is a daily thing. He is concerned with my heart condition and yours. He works on us from the inside out–working on our character.
 

What does God want?

 
What is He calling for you and I to do in any given situation? Do you know?
 
Here is an example of what I say to myself: I will not be offended. I am casting every thought down that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and will think on things that are positive. I’m going to pursue peace, regardless of what the other person is doing.” I talk myself off the ledge, so to speak. I can’t let my thoughts and mind do whatever. I can’t trust it. Nor can I trust my emotions. God wants us to walk and follow after His son Jesus Christ, and walk in love, forgiveness, and faith! He wants us to give a “God” response and not a carnal one.
 
So, I’ve learned that I can step away from a situation to not hinder a relationship. I’ve also learned to forgive even when I’m hurt and don’t understand, for the sake of relationship. See this is when knowledge and wisdom come into play.
 
You may have knowledge of the scripture, “how many times to forgive my brother”, but the wisdom is in the application of the scripture. (Matthew 18:21-22) (Matthew 5:38-40) No, it doesn’t feel good going through that, but the refining process is priceless.
 
[bctt tweet=”You elevate in God with each wise move and each area of obedience.” username=”AuthorTTucker”]
 
Our Lord Jesus Christ said for us to love our Heavenly Father with all our heart, and second to love our neighbor. He also said to do good to those in the faith. Relationships are very important to God. He loves people–not denominations.

Tips and suggestions

 
 
We have a job to do out here and it’s to plant and water. The Lord will cause the increase. We are to make disciples.
 
We limit God by our unforgiveness, even in those matters. Talk with yourself and cast those thoughts down. What about when people let you down? Forgive them and pray for them. You let people down too, you know?
 
God is stretching us in those uncomfortable moments. How can you be prepared for a greater level, if you can’t handle the small stuff?
 
If you are in ministry and desiring more, you must learn how to handle a small group. The Lord says if we are faithful in the small things, we will be faithful in large ones. (Luke 16:10) People are not easy, yet the Lord has grace for us. We must extend grace one to another. Love is the Word of the day. Everyday. I have 2 books that will help you immensely in this area. Click here for more info.
 

Here are 10 suggestions that I have for you:

 
1. If it isn’t edifying, don’t say it.
 
2. After an offense don’t go immediately to facebook and post, pause ten minutes. After that, you won’t even want to post it.
 
3. Think before you speak.
 
4. Pray and ask God for help. Ask Him in sincerity and He will respond.
 
5. Be mindful of the words you speak. Death and life are in the power of the tongue.
 
6. Forgive the offense and let the Lord handle the situation. He cares about everything that has to do with you. You’re His child.
 
7. Recognise that there are evil spirits looking for an opening to oppress you daily and set up strongholds. Offense is an opening.
 
8. Don’t focus on feelings. Being too emotional will hurt you everytime. Think. Use your brain. The heart is deceitful. Be wise.
 
9. Pray for the person who offended you. It’s hard to stay mad at someone that you pray for.
 
10. Make a decision. Be intentional. You are in control of your actions. Decide not to be offended
 
Conclusion
 
Finally, what controls you? Flesh or Spirit? Spirit has you deny yourself. Flesh indulges your impulses and emotions. Flesh cares for self. Spirit for others. Flesh wants revenge. Spirits understands that vengeance belongs to the Lord, and He will repay. Flesh wants instant gratification. Spirit understands to wait on the Lord and be of good courage. Flesh wants to speak on every offense. Spirit rebukes spirit and prays.  The enemy is a liar. Never forget that. Be careful of making permanent decisions on a temporary circumstance.
Stay rooted in what God wants. Offense takes your eyes off of God and puts them on yourself. Keep God and His purpose in front of you.
 
Pray this prayer: Father God. I thank you, and appreciate all that you do for me. I thank you for your reminders, and being long suffering towards me.  Thank you for your Grace and Mercy. Father, in the name of Jesus I ask for forgiveness in any way that I’ve fallen short in thought or deed. Father create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. I want to walk in your ways Father. Forgive me as I forgive those who hurt me. I will not hold on to offense. From this day forward I will be mindful of my thoughts towards others. I will be mindful of my words towards others. I pray that you strengthen me in my spirit. Help me in my daily walk Father, as I want to do your will. Less of me and more of you. Bring to my remembrance anything that I need to repent of and I will do so. I thank you Father for hearing my prayer and hearing my heart. In Jesus name. Amen.
 
What are your experiences with offense and forgiveness in church or just in everyday life? Lets talk. 

 

The Authenticity of the Writer

Why I write

I enjoy writing immensely. If I could just write and that was all, there would be no issue. Regrettably, that is not the case. Being obedient to the call that the Lord has placed on me is exciting and uncomfortable at the same time. Granted, I have been speaking my mind, and posting scriptures for years on my personal platform. However, using a professional platform to showcase my writing leaves me vulnerable and open in a way that I didn’t feel before. Even so, this is what has been asked of me.

I know that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. This is not in question. At the same time, I am being pulled to the front for all to see. As a result, I feel butterflies in my stomach after I publish my posts. I wonder if it will be received and if people will actually get it? “Am I qualified to write books as the Lord says that I will do?” These thoughts and more cross my mind. In any case, I believe the word when it says that God does not call the qualified, but qualifies the called. I can’t boast in myself, but in God! (1 Corinthians 1: 27-31)

The power of my Testimony                        

My testimony is powerful and will help many. I believe that with all that is in me. Be that as it may, it will also get me some side eye from the church folk. Yet I must fearlessly forge ahead! In addition, God blesses and adds no sorrow, so it will definitely work out. That is not the issue. He told me that I would have to be bold and courageous for this next season. Strangely enough, I happen to be both bold and courageous LOL. Truly. If you are a follower of my blog or even my personal social media, you can attest to that.

Authenticity is important in the christian walk. I remember being one way at home and another in public. Do you know how taxing that is? I’m sure some of you do. Some of you are that way. I am thankful to be continually pressing forward in the freedom that truth has given me. In fact, being truthful and leaning on God is how I live my life now. Of course that wasn’t always the case, yet I’m thankful to say I’ve progressed in the Lord during my Cancer journey more than I ever have prior to. (Psalm 107:1-2) (image source: Google.com)

My Progression

As a matter of fact, tragedy opened my eyes and ears to see and hear Him. Furthermore, I am home and not running the streets or in the salon from sun up to sundown. Instead, I am with my family. The growth that has been attained in my household is enough for me to shout, “Hallelujah!” Of course nothing is perfect, but let me tell you! The way my husband and I communicate with each other now versus a year ago is amazing progress. We are applying the word to our marriage, and as a result we are seeing the fruits. (Matthew 19:4-6) What gets me the most irritated in my home is not my husband but my children LOL. Discipline and consistency is what I am working on with them. (image source: Pinterest)

Who I’m writing to

I speak and write on these things to be encouraging to the body of Christ, but especially to married women. Consequently, I mostly relate to married women, as I have been married and divorced and married again. I write to the married christian woman who is not where she wants to be in God.

I also relate to women in general who are fighting the good fight of faith! (1 Timothy 6:12)

These women have a past that they need to forgive themselves for. As a matter of fact, they may have a “present” that needs forgiven. A “present,” that is rocky and bound with strongholds. I’ve been there too.

Jesus has already forgiven us, but we need to forgive ourselves and go forth with what He has called us to do. (2Corinthians 5:17) (Ephesians 1:7)

Transitioning

God is calling us higher as a body, and I recognize that. He is moving in a beautiful and miraculous way. The sermons the last few weeks at my church had many confirmations for me. In fact, this past Sunday spoke volumes to my spirit. It was the Spirit of God speaking through Pastor.

The Lord has revealed Himself to me in ways that have blown my mind. For this reason alone, my life will never be the same. He has changed the entire course of my life.

For example, I am a full time homemaker and writer. Who would have thought that would be my life? Not this lady. I just wanted to be in the salon, and write at my leisure as I’ve been doing for years. And not to knock housewives, because my mom was one, but that was not my plan. (Proverbs 16:1)

Still, it has been a great experience thus far. At home and the writing aspect. Of course with the writing, I have to keep learning the professional way to do things to pen a book. In fact, my writing keeps improving every time I sit down and type. Thank you Jesus! I am smiling as I write this because I know what He said to me. The vision is big and I only know in part, yet without the Lord it will not happen. (Proverbs 16:1) (Psalm 127:1)

At this point it’s all about obedience. It’s not about how I feel. All things considered, if you leave it up to me, I would still be in the salon and writing my little tidbits here and there on my facebook page. 

But God!

In conclusion

Finally you guys, I want to thank you. I know some look at me as if I’m crazy walking away from my salon to sit home and write. You know how I know that? Because I see some doing it when I tell them that I am not returning to the salon. They ask how can I leave something that was certain, for uncertainty? I try to explain this faith walk that I am on; however, everyone can’t receive it.

If you happen to know me, and you’re wondering what is going on, I will tell you like this: I am living my life in a way that I never have before. Freely! I am loving myself in a way that I wasn’t capable of before. Truly! In fact, my husband is loving me in a way that I didn’t know was possible. I would tell you that God has been working on me and through me, and I am letting Him. He’s stripped me bare and turned me to the mirror to face myself. Furthermore, I trust God. I am on that staircase walking up when I can’t see the next step. (Hebrews 11:1)

 

 

 

“You want me to do what, God?”

How many of you have received a word from the Lord that gave you pause? That made you say, “You want me to do what, God?”

I have.

I have received a few of those words, that I didn’t quite understand, yet most times, I obeyed. The times that I didn’t obey, I paid the price. We do suffer many things, not from the enemy or the Lord, but by our own decisions. You do know that, right? Some things are just us. We need to get out of our own way.

The Lord says that obedience is better than sacrifice. (1 Samuel  15:22)

Also, understand these 3 things. (I cited these 3 from jolly notes.com, but agree with them 100%)

#1 God is still God – God is still on the throne
Psalm 46:10, ESV Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!

#2 God Knows. God Understands.
It may not make sense to us, but it makes sense to God. There are some things that we just don’t have the capacity to fully understand right now. God may have allowed something to happen, but it doesn’t mean it makes God happy.
Isaiah 55:8-9, ESV For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

#3 God loves you very deeply – His love for us is profound, incomprehensible, unfathomable and everlasting
Jeremiah 31:3, NIV …I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.


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Knowing these things, and also referencing the many times that He has shown up in my life, leading and directing me, making things work out for my good, I know that I can trust Him.

Trust and faith is necessary to be obedient to God. You must believe that He will do what He says He will, even if it doesn’t look like it. You must trust His word.

Are there scenarios in the bible that I can reference? Sure, lets take a look at a few of my favorites from the Old and New Testaments:

  • God told Noah that He would cause it to rain and flood the earth for 40 days and 40 nights and to build an ark. Noah hadn’t experienced those weather conditions on earth before. He built it. He was ridiculed, yet he was obedient. He and his family were saved. He did everything God told him to do. Regardless of what he actually saw. He trusted God.
  • What about Moses? He was told to lead the people out of Egypt. Moses was not well spoken and did not think himself qualified. He said as much to God. God allowed his brother Aaron to assist but he still used Moses. Moses was successful in leading the children of Israel from Egypt. God did many signs and wonders thru Moses,
  • Abraham was told to sacrifice his son. His only son. The son of promise. He was obedient. He walked 3 days with his son to the mountain. His son asked where the sacrifice was and He told him that God would provide. He had so much trust in God. That was trust from a hard place. Can you imagine? All of the families on earth have been blessed because of Abraham, the father of faith.
  • Gideon was hiding in the cave when he saw an angel. The angel called him brave. He said for him to go boldly and save his people, the Israelites, from the hands of the Midianites. He said that the Lord was with him. He obeyed. He was victorious, and of all the fifteen men who ruled as Judges of Israel, Gideon, the fifth Judge, was the greatest, in courage, in wisdom, and in faith in God.
  • Joseph was told that his wife would be pregnant by the Holy Spirit. He was told that he had to stay with her. You know Joseph had a hard time with that one. He was obedient and Emmanuel – God with us, Jesus, was born into the world. Hallelujah!
  • Peter when asked to meet Jesus on the water is another example. I can just imagine his face LOL. “You want me to come out there?” “How?” (paraphrasing and emphasis mine) He was obedient and he walked on the water just like Jesus!
  • Ananias was asked by God to go to Saul aka Paul. Ananias had heard of Saul and he was hesitant. Sauls reputation as a murderer of those in The Way, or the Christians was well known. God told him that Saul was chosen by Him. He blinded Saul and wanted Ananias to go lay hands on him that he may regain his sight and also so he can be filled with the Holy Spirit. He was obedient.

There are many more throughout the bible. I want to show a history of how God deals with us. Obedience is absolutely necessary. Do not make mistakes about it.


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God told me to leave my salon. A salon that He gave me. He said that He was shifting me-closing that door and opening another. I did not understand at first. I understand now. My clients, some family and friends, didn’t understand, and probably still don’t. My answer to them is that I’m being obedient. He didn’t give them the vision, He gave it to me. So I can’t expect them to understand. That is the best way I can say it, because that’s the truth. There is a scripture in John where Jesus says to his disciples that you may not understand now but later you will. Isn’t it like that? We don’t always get it at first. Sometimes we do, other times we are left asking, “What’s going on?” Let us never lose sight that Gods ways are not our ways, nor His thoughts our thoughts. Although we must have the mind of Christ, our Father in Heaven is still way higher than anything we can imagine. We are limited but we serve a LIMITLESS God!

It is imperative to walk in faith. If we walk by sight we won’t move. We will be fearful because of what we see. Or what others may say. We would be fearful because our mind will tell us that we can’t make it. Or that it’s too uncomfortable. I thought I would be a hairstylist and then teach hair for the rest of my life.  I was ok with that. I love doing hair. God had a plan all along. The more I walk with Him, the more I gain understanding. Even allowing this cancer to hit my body. He allowed me to suffer. But I am thankful for this suffering. It has opened my eyes and brought me to a level that I never was prior to this. He never left me, but told me it’s a process I must go through and it will be for His Glory! I am still going through, but all is well. I am clay. I am on the Potter’s wheel.

I used to write when I was younger, and my mom was a writer, but she didn’t do anything with it. God told me the same gifts He gave her, He gave to me but greater and I will do something with mine, for HIS GLORY! Glory to God!!  As Believers, we know that God knows the plans that He has for us. He knows. Even if we don’t. Our position should just be, “Yes God!”, ” Yes to your will and yes to your way.” Now, in saying, “Yes”, we don’t know which way things are going to go. It’s a faith walk, regardless of what is happening. He says if we put Him first all other things will be added. I’m putting Him first and believing Him on His word. Whatever is in store for me will be good. No doubt about that. It has already started to manifest. I see it in the Spirit. I see so much in the Spirit now. I’m less attached to the world, more attached to Him. The visions I have received concerning my life are scary, because they are big. I have written down what I want (making it plain.) I know that they can only take place with God spearheading, going ahead of me and making my path straight. It takes me being obedient to His will and living my life the way He requires. There is no compromise with God.

The Anointing cost! 

Have you received a word that you don’t quite understand? Is there a decision for you to make? Don’t trust in anything or anyone more than God.

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We like to stay where it’s comfortable. But all progress takes place outside the comfort zone. You may have a dream or some desires that have not been fulfilled yet. Seek God. Trust Him. Walk in His ways. He is the one that gives us success. He is the one that causes us to be promoted. (Deuteronomy 8:18) His answers are yes, no and wait. His way is always better. Better than anything I could imagine. Our scope is so limited. We limited by what we see around us. He is a God that does not grow weary. He is an everlasting God. He sees the end from the beginning. There is comfort in that. There is comfort in knowing that the Creator of Heaven and Earth loves us so much. That He knows the number of hairs on our heads. He knows what we need. He says that He knows how to give good gifts to us. He can’t lie.

Trust Him.

 

Take the Mask off! I did.

As I sit here reflecting over my life, I am thankful to be alive and in my right mind. I was in such a dark place many times in my life. I had such a veil over my eyes. So much confusion. There were things that happened to me when I was younger that threw me in a tailspin and my life took off in crazy directions. How many can relate?

confusion

The Lord has been dealing with me about my testimony and being transparent. He wants me to share and help others. It is difficult to be completely open. It’s a vulnerable place. The court of public opinion is rough. I think about my family. The ones who don’t know it all. I think of my church members. Yes, everyone has a story. But most don’t tell it for the same reasons that I hesitated. I hesitated with the Lord. I speak boldly with Him. He says to come boldly to the throne and I do.
There are people who talk down on others, but they are doing the same thing. They may preach one message, yet live another. This is what Jesus was saying to the Pharisee. Don’t be a hypocrite.
Be real.
God sees you anyway.
The Lord always shines the light and exposes darkness. He did it with me and countless others. Yet it is to correct our behavior. He is a God of Mercy.

People are coming from all walks of life into the church. Don’t shun them or talk about them. God is calling them. We have to do better! People of God, we must show love. Not fake love either. (Matthew 7:20) Even babies know when you’re not being genuine. This is our commission. To love the Lord and love our neighbor. (Matthew 22:37-39)
I am a human being and I am not immune to these feelings. I am honest to admit them. I remember sharing a bit of my testimony with a sister and she teased me for weeks and called me the name I used when I was in my former life. I didn’t like that. I thought it was insensitive. She was fascinated with the story. I understand that but lets use some tact people. I share my story to show that God can save anyone. He saved Paul who was a murderer. He saved me and He can save you. He can change your life for the better. He did it for me. He can give you peace and joy in the midst of any storm. He is bigger than any circumstance that you may go through. I know this, because I’ve seen it in my life and testimonies of others.
He can save you while you are in church. Just being in the church building isn’t enough. Sometimes we are routinely going. Some people go and leave the same way with no changes taking place in their life. And if that’s you, then you’re missing the mark. You’re missing out on truly having an amazing relationship with God that produces much fruit!
I don’t have a heaven nor hell to put anyone in. And it seems to me that the words the Lord gives me to say can be bold. Even harsh. I tell you what–I’m more afraid of not doing what He tells me than how it’s received. Don’t get offended. But if you do, then I hope it’s offense that brings about action. I hope it brings you to your knees asking God to help you get back on track. I hope it makes you have a healthy fear of Him again. He is our GOD! our CREATOR! I am in such awe of HIM. He is a just God. He loves us, yes, but let’s not treat Him as if He is common. His thoughts are not our thoughts, nor His ways our ways. They’re greater.
I was in the world tough. I was a bisexual woman for many years before God delivered me. I danced, escorted then became a madam. This was all before I was saved. Then after being saved I had other trials. That’s for another post.
I wrote a book about my testimony, and will release it, in the coming months. It was a tough thing to write because it brought up so many emotions for me. There is a lot I buried, and just moved on from. I thank and praise God everyday and throughout the day. Literally, I do. He has changed my life. I am completely sold out to Him. What He did for me is nothing short of miraculous. Even through this cancer journey. so many blessings have come from it. I am transforming everyday. No longer a caterpillar!
monarch-butterfly-orange-flower
I didn’t know God. Yet He loved me. It was like a compass in my life leading me to Him.
I know that He is a forgiving God. The word says it and I’ve experienced it. I know that He is a powerful God, the word says it and I’ve seen His power demonstrated in my life. I know that He is a Deliverer, the word says it and I have experienced deliverance in many ways!
I know that He is a healer, because He has healed me: My heart, body and mind.

Strongholds are real. Demons are real.


Many people have strongholds, of one thing or another. It is a faulty thinking pattern based on lies and deception (2 Corinthians 10:5) Cast them down!
I truly understand the lure of the world. I understand the temptations of it. Sin is deceitful. Plain and simple. You think you can master it, but it masters you. I danced with the devil. I thought I could control everything. I had a rude awakening.
I thought that I was on my journey and would just continue on.
I’ve been saved and lets move on. No. The Lord started dealing with me about testimony and ALL of it. Whew Lord. That’s a tall order! He started last year with the testimony talk. Before my cancer diagnosis.
I remember my Bishop at church asked us for our testimony and I froze up. What would I write? What would I say? How could I tell them what I’ve done and who I’ve been? This is me being transparent. I thought all these things. I was asked to be apart of a testimony service by another sister for her church and I kept declining, citing work scheduling conflicts. Once I was diagnosed with cancer, I received prophetic words regarding it. It has not stopped. Dreams as well. Ok, Lord, I get it.

But Lord strengthen me, and take me to a place in you where I walk with boldness. That was my prayer.


You see, it’s not about me. It’s about God. I’m apart of His story not the other way around. I didn’t go through all I went through for nothing. The change of my mind is the biggest thing. My thoughts are different. My wants are different. You understand?
You, also, are apart of His story.
He wants us free. Truly free. There is freedom in Him.
No one can hold anything over my head because I’m free!
God is truly with me! The enemy wants me afraid. Wants me to stay quiet and feel ashamed. Oh no! I think not! I’ve been delivered and I’m more than a conqueror. Someone needs to know that! Someone out there needs my testimony. My book will be released and touch many around the world. I speak that and believe that.
I am not a preacher. I am a woman who has been saved by grace. A woman who has made a decision to trust and follow Jesus. A woman who has lived a lifestyle quite contrary to the one she lives now. I have wisdom and knowledge that I’ve gained from the streets and from the Lord! I know people.  I see people. That’s a blessing. God has increased my spiritual discernment and I see clearer than I ever have. I’m excited because there is so much more for me in the future.
I want to encourage you to stay on the Potters wheel.
Let the Lord continue to mold you. He knows who you are.  If you’re living a double life, stop faking in church. Go to God and repent and be delivered. There is so much He wants to show you. He wants to take you deeper in Him. But you cannot be a double minded person. You can’t be lukewarm, or else he says he will spit you out of his mouth (Revelation 3:14-22)
You are lukewarm if you say you are a christian, yet living as if you are not.
And I know it’s a process, but move forward with the process.
Take off the mask and be free!
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Silent Tears…

silent tears

Today I woke with tears in my eyes. Silent tears–There was no sound. No cry escaped my lips, yet the tears flowed freely. I miss my mom, more than anyone could possibly know. Internal pain and hurt. Sometimes pain can be so great that a sound won’t come through. It can be so great that you are in the room but not present. You have a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. You search for an escape. Somewhere to run from “Are you ok?” and “What’s wrong?” You hear it, you want to answer, but knowing as soon as you start, your chest will heave and your shoulders will go slack and it will be over. All the silence is now so loud, it’s yelling at you like a bullhorn. The tears so loud, and fierce that you can’t catch your breath.

Your eyes look around quickly searching for an escape. You just want to be alone. Just a little time alone.  You feel no one understands. Who in your home understands?  They love you and want to comfort you. You appreciate the thoughtfulness of it all, but unable to receive at the moment. You must leave the room. The air is getting so thick. You can’t breathe in there. You need air.

“Help me Lord!” you say in your mind. You don’t trust yourself to speak. “I need your strength right now Jesus.” , “Your peace that surpasses all thought…”

You get up and walk out the room. The Lord leads you to a quiet place. No one follows you. They all stare as you walk out the room. You feel their eyes burning into your back. They love you. You understand. But you want them to understand that you need time. “This too shall pass. Just a moment,” you say to yourself. “Just give me a moment alone. ”

You are now in His presence. You sigh. A huge sigh of relief and release. You cry. You then notice the tears drying up. You feel the warmth of His hug. You smile. You actually smile! In the midst of! Glory to God! You know that He is with you. His peace starts to overflow. “There’s healing in your tears.” He says. “You are not alone, I am with you always.” You are over joyed! You know this already, but you understand we all need reminding. We need to hear, “I love you” It can be understood, and doesn’t have to be explained, but you still bask in the sound of those words.  His Spirit comforts you, and you start to feel normal again. You can actually have a conversation now without falling apart. You can go about your day.

Slowly your family comes to you–To your quiet place to check on you.  First, your youngest daughter. She says, “You thinking about grandma?” You nod. “It will be ok, mom.” and leans over, hugs you and kisses the top of your head. She retreats. After a few moments your husband comes out. He asks how you are doing. You are ok and have a brief conversation with him. Your husband leans over and gives you 3 kisses and a hug. He lingers there. You smile, and cherish that moment. Your spirits are connecting in that moment. It’s beautiful.


This was a brief synopsis of my morning.


Jesus is real. I know it, and I want others to know it. Even when I’m going through. Even with a loss of my mom, going through my breast cancer journey, and my dad currently in a cancer fight for his life. He’s real. Every now and then I will find tears in my eyes, with no words. God catches all my tears.


I write. I’ve kept journals since I was 14. Writing is such a major release for me. It’s therapeutic.  I aim to teach through my life experiences. I have much to share. The Lord has put this on my heart. Pressed it actually. I’ve had silent tears today about my mom, but I’ve had them in the past about my life. I’ve had them through molestation and rape. I’ve had them through divorce and starting my life over. Feeling like a failure. I’ve had them through pushing through when I just wanted to fall apart. Do you have silent tears? Do you have internal pain that you feel no one can understand? It’s not easy to share, is it? But sharing is therapeutic. Your testimony can and will help someone. We all share this human experience. There is nothing that you have gone through that someone else hasn’t. Nothing is new under the sun. I also understand that everyone can’t share. And that is ok. I am leaving the comfort of silence to speak. In my speaking, I want to show you Jesus. In my life, I want to show you Jesus. Look at me. You can see what He can do. The transformation power of His Glory! Hallelujah!

hallelujah


The Gift of Jesus!

You have so much joy because He gives you joy. Joy is not found in your circumstances. You look to Him. Circumstances change. Happiness is predicated on circumstances. You can be happy one second and sad the next. Joy is found in Jesus. Peace is based on what’s going on at that moment. But with Jesus, He gives you peace despite the conditions you find yourself in. Trust me. I know. I have so much experience with Him, and there is more to come. As long as I keep living.


John 14:27 “I am leaving you with a gift–peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.

 

 

XoXo

Tara