Tag Archives: hope

Word from the Lord

Hi everyone and bless you. I was in prayer this morning, (10/31/2019) praising God and sitting quietly before Him when He gave me a word to release:

Write these words my daughter. I am coming soon and my reward is with me. Don’t be dismayed. Don’t fret. Hearken to my voice. Stay in my word. The world is changing rapidly, but I haven’t changed. I am the same forever. There are those wishing to change the times, seasons and even my word. Hold fast to what you know. Hold fast on what I’ve shown you. Don’t believe the counterfeit. He is coming. Don’t fall by the wayside. Stay strong in faith. Those in the valley of decision, choose a side.

I will spit lukewarm out of my mouth. I desire faith. What will I find when I come? Will I find faith? Go forth in the assignments I’ve given you. The world is waiting. My sons and daughters are being revealed. Those hidden are coming out. Harvest is here. Revival is here. Greater than you’ve ever seen. Miracle, signs and wonders .

Greater works will my people do. They will speak and mountains will move. I’m calling them forth. Dreams. I’m pouring out my Spirit. Children seek me with your dreams. I desire to speak with you. Turn off the noise.

Great deception is coming upon your land. Stand firm. Stay close to me. I will tell you truth.

The slight of the eye. Like a magic trick. To fool the masses. I am forewarning you. Don’t believe it. Don’t follow man. Follow me. Only the strong in faith will survive what will come. Even my elect will be fooled. Your desires aren’t my desires. Don’t idolize man. Look to me. I am your help. Call on me and I will answer

Yeshua

End of word

Bless you all

Your sister in the faith

Tara

Scriptures for reference

“And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be.”

Revelation 22:12 KJV

“And Joshua said unto them, Fear not, nor be dismayed, be strong and of good courage: for thus shall the Lord do to all your enemies against whom ye fight.”

Joshua 10:25 KJV

“And he shall speak great words against the most High, and shall wear out the saints of the most High, and think to change times and laws: and they shall be given into his hand until a time and times and the dividing of time.”

Daniel 7:25 KJV

“Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision: for the day of the Lord is near in the valley of decision.”

Joel 3:14 KJV

“For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God.”

Romans 8:19 KJV

“Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.”

John 14:12 KJV

“Let no man deceive you by any means: for that day shall not come, except there come a falling away first, and that man of sin be revealed, the son of perdition;”

2 Thessalonians 2:3 KJV

“And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.”

Mark 16:17-18 KJV

“You want me to do what, God?”

How many of you have received a word from the Lord that gave you pause? That made you say, “You want me to do what, God?”

I have.

I have received a few of those words, that I didn’t quite understand, yet most times, I obeyed. The times that I didn’t obey, I paid the price. We do suffer many things, not from the enemy or the Lord, but by our own decisions. You do know that, right? Some things are just us. We need to get out of our own way.

The Lord says that obedience is better than sacrifice. (1 Samuel  15:22)

Also, understand these 3 things. (I cited these 3 from jolly notes.com, but agree with them 100%)

#1 God is still God – God is still on the throne
Psalm 46:10, ESV Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!

#2 God Knows. God Understands.
It may not make sense to us, but it makes sense to God. There are some things that we just don’t have the capacity to fully understand right now. God may have allowed something to happen, but it doesn’t mean it makes God happy.
Isaiah 55:8-9, ESV For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

#3 God loves you very deeply – His love for us is profound, incomprehensible, unfathomable and everlasting
Jeremiah 31:3, NIV …I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.


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Knowing these things, and also referencing the many times that He has shown up in my life, leading and directing me, making things work out for my good, I know that I can trust Him.

Trust and faith is necessary to be obedient to God. You must believe that He will do what He says He will, even if it doesn’t look like it. You must trust His word.

Are there scenarios in the bible that I can reference? Sure, lets take a look at a few of my favorites from the Old and New Testaments:

  • God told Noah that He would cause it to rain and flood the earth for 40 days and 40 nights and to build an ark. Noah hadn’t experienced those weather conditions on earth before. He built it. He was ridiculed, yet he was obedient. He and his family were saved. He did everything God told him to do. Regardless of what he actually saw. He trusted God.
  • What about Moses? He was told to lead the people out of Egypt. Moses was not well spoken and did not think himself qualified. He said as much to God. God allowed his brother Aaron to assist but he still used Moses. Moses was successful in leading the children of Israel from Egypt. God did many signs and wonders thru Moses,
  • Abraham was told to sacrifice his son. His only son. The son of promise. He was obedient. He walked 3 days with his son to the mountain. His son asked where the sacrifice was and He told him that God would provide. He had so much trust in God. That was trust from a hard place. Can you imagine? All of the families on earth have been blessed because of Abraham, the father of faith.
  • Gideon was hiding in the cave when he saw an angel. The angel called him brave. He said for him to go boldly and save his people, the Israelites, from the hands of the Midianites. He said that the Lord was with him. He obeyed. He was victorious, and of all the fifteen men who ruled as Judges of Israel, Gideon, the fifth Judge, was the greatest, in courage, in wisdom, and in faith in God.
  • Joseph was told that his wife would be pregnant by the Holy Spirit. He was told that he had to stay with her. You know Joseph had a hard time with that one. He was obedient and Emmanuel – God with us, Jesus, was born into the world. Hallelujah!
  • Peter when asked to meet Jesus on the water is another example. I can just imagine his face LOL. “You want me to come out there?” “How?” (paraphrasing and emphasis mine) He was obedient and he walked on the water just like Jesus!
  • Ananias was asked by God to go to Saul aka Paul. Ananias had heard of Saul and he was hesitant. Sauls reputation as a murderer of those in The Way, or the Christians was well known. God told him that Saul was chosen by Him. He blinded Saul and wanted Ananias to go lay hands on him that he may regain his sight and also so he can be filled with the Holy Spirit. He was obedient.

There are many more throughout the bible. I want to show a history of how God deals with us. Obedience is absolutely necessary. Do not make mistakes about it.


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God told me to leave my salon. A salon that He gave me. He said that He was shifting me-closing that door and opening another. I did not understand at first. I understand now. My clients, some family and friends, didn’t understand, and probably still don’t. My answer to them is that I’m being obedient. He didn’t give them the vision, He gave it to me. So I can’t expect them to understand. That is the best way I can say it, because that’s the truth. There is a scripture in John where Jesus says to his disciples that you may not understand now but later you will. Isn’t it like that? We don’t always get it at first. Sometimes we do, other times we are left asking, “What’s going on?” Let us never lose sight that Gods ways are not our ways, nor His thoughts our thoughts. Although we must have the mind of Christ, our Father in Heaven is still way higher than anything we can imagine. We are limited but we serve a LIMITLESS God!

It is imperative to walk in faith. If we walk by sight we won’t move. We will be fearful because of what we see. Or what others may say. We would be fearful because our mind will tell us that we can’t make it. Or that it’s too uncomfortable. I thought I would be a hairstylist and then teach hair for the rest of my life.  I was ok with that. I love doing hair. God had a plan all along. The more I walk with Him, the more I gain understanding. Even allowing this cancer to hit my body. He allowed me to suffer. But I am thankful for this suffering. It has opened my eyes and brought me to a level that I never was prior to this. He never left me, but told me it’s a process I must go through and it will be for His Glory! I am still going through, but all is well. I am clay. I am on the Potter’s wheel.

I used to write when I was younger, and my mom was a writer, but she didn’t do anything with it. God told me the same gifts He gave her, He gave to me but greater and I will do something with mine, for HIS GLORY! Glory to God!!  As Believers, we know that God knows the plans that He has for us. He knows. Even if we don’t. Our position should just be, “Yes God!”, ” Yes to your will and yes to your way.” Now, in saying, “Yes”, we don’t know which way things are going to go. It’s a faith walk, regardless of what is happening. He says if we put Him first all other things will be added. I’m putting Him first and believing Him on His word. Whatever is in store for me will be good. No doubt about that. It has already started to manifest. I see it in the Spirit. I see so much in the Spirit now. I’m less attached to the world, more attached to Him. The visions I have received concerning my life are scary, because they are big. I have written down what I want (making it plain.) I know that they can only take place with God spearheading, going ahead of me and making my path straight. It takes me being obedient to His will and living my life the way He requires. There is no compromise with God.

The Anointing cost! 

Have you received a word that you don’t quite understand? Is there a decision for you to make? Don’t trust in anything or anyone more than God.

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We like to stay where it’s comfortable. But all progress takes place outside the comfort zone. You may have a dream or some desires that have not been fulfilled yet. Seek God. Trust Him. Walk in His ways. He is the one that gives us success. He is the one that causes us to be promoted. (Deuteronomy 8:18) His answers are yes, no and wait. His way is always better. Better than anything I could imagine. Our scope is so limited. We limited by what we see around us. He is a God that does not grow weary. He is an everlasting God. He sees the end from the beginning. There is comfort in that. There is comfort in knowing that the Creator of Heaven and Earth loves us so much. That He knows the number of hairs on our heads. He knows what we need. He says that He knows how to give good gifts to us. He can’t lie.

Trust Him.

 

There is more to this than meets the eye…

So, if you’ve been following my blog, you know that I don’t normally post more than once per week. But I had to update you guys on what’s going on.

I am a baby Vegan. Yes! My family and I, spearheaded by my husband Frank, have transitioned to Vegans this past Sunday. Just like that? you ask. Yes, just like that.


We made a decision. And everything in life comes down to decisions. You just have to make it and commit to it. This decision comes with many pros, one of which, is the delightful dishes that I have been cooking. Yum!! I have explored new beans, grains and vegetables that I’ve never eaten before. My oldest daughter said this was the most Veggies she has had in one week. lol That’s a good thing. My oldest daughter and I are sensitive to dairy, yet we love cheese 😦 But it’s all good. I look forward to making homemade Vegan cheese. Now, this is not up for debate, ok? If you’re not with the Vegan lifestyle, I am certainly not trying to convince you…but I digress.

Anyway, my youngest makes all the smoothies in the house. She is great at it. I am in the last stage of this cancer journey and a change of diet has been pressed on me by my doctors and I feel it in my spirit. Stop meat and diary! Really, limit meat, but stopping is good too, LOL. It is not an easy thing to do. Not alone anyway. But I have found it extremely easy to do since we’ve started it together as a family. Glory to God! I have 2 more surgeries. I will be done with everything as they told me in the beginning–one year. My children will undoubtedly eat other foods when they are not home. I’m not crazy. But hopefully, that will change as we continue on this journey.


I am so thankful to God because you never know how He is going to show up. You look for him and sometimes miss Him when He doesn’t come the way you expect.


This Veganism thing was Him showing up. I know you don’t understand, but I do and I am rejoicing and thankful. Just rejoice with me brothers and sisters. Rejoice for healthy living and unity. I’ve been wanting to do this, and have tried, but it’s difficult when you’re the only one. My husband took the lead and made it easy for us as a family to fall in line with him. And if you knew my husband you would know that this is amazing. He was King Carnivore! It’s not just becoming Vegan that is the exciting part. There is more to this than meets the eye. So I ask you, “Do you know what you’re looking at?” Do you see things in the Spirit?


It’s been an amazing week for my family, and we have all entered a new season of togetherness. A new season of fellowship and affinity. And it’s accelerating, just like God’s Spirit right now. If you can sense it. He is moving at an accelerated pace. Many things are taking place in the lives of Believers with eyes to see and ears to hear.

Family is everything. It’s the foundation. And having a family in order, the way God set it up, and wants it, is priceless. Not only for my husband and I, but for our children. We keep going forward, and we have come such a long way. I love our growth! I love God! He has a plan for us, that will certainly manifest. His word will not return to Him void, and will do what He set it to do. Believe that! We have shifted yet again. I’m sensitive to the shiftings. I see God. Not like I literally see Him standing here, but I see Him. I know when He is moving in my life. I sense it. and then His Spirit that resides in me confirms it. Some of you know exactly what I mean.

So I am closing this out.

Be blessed. I thank you for your continued support. Don’t forget to sign up for my mailing list.

 


(2 Cor 5:7) I hear many talking about blind faith, but real faith is not blind. Real faith is when we trust in what we see by the spirit. The Bible says to walk by faith and not by sight,  but this does not mean that faith is blind. It means that faith is not limited to physical sight. (cited from “The Importance of Spiritual sight,” by Rick Arnold -Thirsty Soul)

 

Enjoy your day.

Take the Mask off! I did.

As I sit here reflecting over my life, I am thankful to be alive and in my right mind. I was in such a dark place many times in my life. I had such a veil over my eyes. So much confusion. There were things that happened to me when I was younger that threw me in a tailspin and my life took off in crazy directions. How many can relate?

confusion

The Lord has been dealing with me about my testimony and being transparent. He wants me to share and help others. It is difficult to be completely open. It’s a vulnerable place. The court of public opinion is rough. I think about my family. The ones who don’t know it all. I think of my church members. Yes, everyone has a story. But most don’t tell it for the same reasons that I hesitated. I hesitated with the Lord. I speak boldly with Him. He says to come boldly to the throne and I do.
There are people who talk down on others, but they are doing the same thing. They may preach one message, yet live another. This is what Jesus was saying to the Pharisee. Don’t be a hypocrite.
Be real.
God sees you anyway.
The Lord always shines the light and exposes darkness. He did it with me and countless others. Yet it is to correct our behavior. He is a God of Mercy.

People are coming from all walks of life into the church. Don’t shun them or talk about them. God is calling them. We have to do better! People of God, we must show love. Not fake love either. (Matthew 7:20) Even babies know when you’re not being genuine. This is our commission. To love the Lord and love our neighbor. (Matthew 22:37-39)
I am a human being and I am not immune to these feelings. I am honest to admit them. I remember sharing a bit of my testimony with a sister and she teased me for weeks and called me the name I used when I was in my former life. I didn’t like that. I thought it was insensitive. She was fascinated with the story. I understand that but lets use some tact people. I share my story to show that God can save anyone. He saved Paul who was a murderer. He saved me and He can save you. He can change your life for the better. He did it for me. He can give you peace and joy in the midst of any storm. He is bigger than any circumstance that you may go through. I know this, because I’ve seen it in my life and testimonies of others.
He can save you while you are in church. Just being in the church building isn’t enough. Sometimes we are routinely going. Some people go and leave the same way with no changes taking place in their life. And if that’s you, then you’re missing the mark. You’re missing out on truly having an amazing relationship with God that produces much fruit!
I don’t have a heaven nor hell to put anyone in. And it seems to me that the words the Lord gives me to say can be bold. Even harsh. I tell you what–I’m more afraid of not doing what He tells me than how it’s received. Don’t get offended. But if you do, then I hope it’s offense that brings about action. I hope it brings you to your knees asking God to help you get back on track. I hope it makes you have a healthy fear of Him again. He is our GOD! our CREATOR! I am in such awe of HIM. He is a just God. He loves us, yes, but let’s not treat Him as if He is common. His thoughts are not our thoughts, nor His ways our ways. They’re greater.
I was in the world tough. I was a bisexual woman for many years before God delivered me. I danced, escorted then became a madam. This was all before I was saved. Then after being saved I had other trials. That’s for another post.
I wrote a book about my testimony, and will release it, in the coming months. It was a tough thing to write because it brought up so many emotions for me. There is a lot I buried, and just moved on from. I thank and praise God everyday and throughout the day. Literally, I do. He has changed my life. I am completely sold out to Him. What He did for me is nothing short of miraculous. Even through this cancer journey. so many blessings have come from it. I am transforming everyday. No longer a caterpillar!
monarch-butterfly-orange-flower
I didn’t know God. Yet He loved me. It was like a compass in my life leading me to Him.
I know that He is a forgiving God. The word says it and I’ve experienced it. I know that He is a powerful God, the word says it and I’ve seen His power demonstrated in my life. I know that He is a Deliverer, the word says it and I have experienced deliverance in many ways!
I know that He is a healer, because He has healed me: My heart, body and mind.

Strongholds are real. Demons are real.


Many people have strongholds, of one thing or another. It is a faulty thinking pattern based on lies and deception (2 Corinthians 10:5) Cast them down!
I truly understand the lure of the world. I understand the temptations of it. Sin is deceitful. Plain and simple. You think you can master it, but it masters you. I danced with the devil. I thought I could control everything. I had a rude awakening.
I thought that I was on my journey and would just continue on.
I’ve been saved and lets move on. No. The Lord started dealing with me about testimony and ALL of it. Whew Lord. That’s a tall order! He started last year with the testimony talk. Before my cancer diagnosis.
I remember my Bishop at church asked us for our testimony and I froze up. What would I write? What would I say? How could I tell them what I’ve done and who I’ve been? This is me being transparent. I thought all these things. I was asked to be apart of a testimony service by another sister for her church and I kept declining, citing work scheduling conflicts. Once I was diagnosed with cancer, I received prophetic words regarding it. It has not stopped. Dreams as well. Ok, Lord, I get it.

But Lord strengthen me, and take me to a place in you where I walk with boldness. That was my prayer.


You see, it’s not about me. It’s about God. I’m apart of His story not the other way around. I didn’t go through all I went through for nothing. The change of my mind is the biggest thing. My thoughts are different. My wants are different. You understand?
You, also, are apart of His story.
He wants us free. Truly free. There is freedom in Him.
No one can hold anything over my head because I’m free!
God is truly with me! The enemy wants me afraid. Wants me to stay quiet and feel ashamed. Oh no! I think not! I’ve been delivered and I’m more than a conqueror. Someone needs to know that! Someone out there needs my testimony. My book will be released and touch many around the world. I speak that and believe that.
I am not a preacher. I am a woman who has been saved by grace. A woman who has made a decision to trust and follow Jesus. A woman who has lived a lifestyle quite contrary to the one she lives now. I have wisdom and knowledge that I’ve gained from the streets and from the Lord! I know people.  I see people. That’s a blessing. God has increased my spiritual discernment and I see clearer than I ever have. I’m excited because there is so much more for me in the future.
I want to encourage you to stay on the Potters wheel.
Let the Lord continue to mold you. He knows who you are.  If you’re living a double life, stop faking in church. Go to God and repent and be delivered. There is so much He wants to show you. He wants to take you deeper in Him. But you cannot be a double minded person. You can’t be lukewarm, or else he says he will spit you out of his mouth (Revelation 3:14-22)
You are lukewarm if you say you are a christian, yet living as if you are not.
And I know it’s a process, but move forward with the process.
Take off the mask and be free!
If you are interested in information regarding my upcoming book release, free chapters and more, sign up for my mailing list.

Silent Tears…

silent tears

Today I woke with tears in my eyes. Silent tears–There was no sound. No cry escaped my lips, yet the tears flowed freely. I miss my mom, more than anyone could possibly know. Internal pain and hurt. Sometimes pain can be so great that a sound won’t come through. It can be so great that you are in the room but not present. You have a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. You search for an escape. Somewhere to run from “Are you ok?” and “What’s wrong?” You hear it, you want to answer, but knowing as soon as you start, your chest will heave and your shoulders will go slack and it will be over. All the silence is now so loud, it’s yelling at you like a bullhorn. The tears so loud, and fierce that you can’t catch your breath.

Your eyes look around quickly searching for an escape. You just want to be alone. Just a little time alone.  You feel no one understands. Who in your home understands?  They love you and want to comfort you. You appreciate the thoughtfulness of it all, but unable to receive at the moment. You must leave the room. The air is getting so thick. You can’t breathe in there. You need air.

“Help me Lord!” you say in your mind. You don’t trust yourself to speak. “I need your strength right now Jesus.” , “Your peace that surpasses all thought…”

You get up and walk out the room. The Lord leads you to a quiet place. No one follows you. They all stare as you walk out the room. You feel their eyes burning into your back. They love you. You understand. But you want them to understand that you need time. “This too shall pass. Just a moment,” you say to yourself. “Just give me a moment alone. ”

You are now in His presence. You sigh. A huge sigh of relief and release. You cry. You then notice the tears drying up. You feel the warmth of His hug. You smile. You actually smile! In the midst of! Glory to God! You know that He is with you. His peace starts to overflow. “There’s healing in your tears.” He says. “You are not alone, I am with you always.” You are over joyed! You know this already, but you understand we all need reminding. We need to hear, “I love you” It can be understood, and doesn’t have to be explained, but you still bask in the sound of those words.  His Spirit comforts you, and you start to feel normal again. You can actually have a conversation now without falling apart. You can go about your day.

Slowly your family comes to you–To your quiet place to check on you.  First, your youngest daughter. She says, “You thinking about grandma?” You nod. “It will be ok, mom.” and leans over, hugs you and kisses the top of your head. She retreats. After a few moments your husband comes out. He asks how you are doing. You are ok and have a brief conversation with him. Your husband leans over and gives you 3 kisses and a hug. He lingers there. You smile, and cherish that moment. Your spirits are connecting in that moment. It’s beautiful.


This was a brief synopsis of my morning.


Jesus is real. I know it, and I want others to know it. Even when I’m going through. Even with a loss of my mom, going through my breast cancer journey, and my dad currently in a cancer fight for his life. He’s real. Every now and then I will find tears in my eyes, with no words. God catches all my tears.


I write. I’ve kept journals since I was 14. Writing is such a major release for me. It’s therapeutic.  I aim to teach through my life experiences. I have much to share. The Lord has put this on my heart. Pressed it actually. I’ve had silent tears today about my mom, but I’ve had them in the past about my life. I’ve had them through molestation and rape. I’ve had them through divorce and starting my life over. Feeling like a failure. I’ve had them through pushing through when I just wanted to fall apart. Do you have silent tears? Do you have internal pain that you feel no one can understand? It’s not easy to share, is it? But sharing is therapeutic. Your testimony can and will help someone. We all share this human experience. There is nothing that you have gone through that someone else hasn’t. Nothing is new under the sun. I also understand that everyone can’t share. And that is ok. I am leaving the comfort of silence to speak. In my speaking, I want to show you Jesus. In my life, I want to show you Jesus. Look at me. You can see what He can do. The transformation power of His Glory! Hallelujah!

hallelujah


The Gift of Jesus!

You have so much joy because He gives you joy. Joy is not found in your circumstances. You look to Him. Circumstances change. Happiness is predicated on circumstances. You can be happy one second and sad the next. Joy is found in Jesus. Peace is based on what’s going on at that moment. But with Jesus, He gives you peace despite the conditions you find yourself in. Trust me. I know. I have so much experience with Him, and there is more to come. As long as I keep living.


John 14:27 “I am leaving you with a gift–peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.

 

 

XoXo

Tara

 

It’s Enough!

 

2 Corinthians 12:9 AMP “but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My loving kindness and My mercy are more than enough–always available–regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me.”

As Believers, sometimes we feel that we are not enough, or aren’t doing enough. Don’t let us mess up, this leads to feelings of unworthiness. I’ve felt this way before and I thank God for helping me to see who I am and His love for me. We won’t always get it right. If you are experiencing this, do not isolate yourself. The enemy wants you to do that.
God says His grace is sufficient for us. That means it’s enough for us.
He is enough for us! We don’t need to have it all the way figured out. We have Jesus! That is good news. This good work that He started in us won’t be completed until Jesus comes back, as it says in Philippians 1:6.

We don’t have to beat ourselves up. He is enough! He fills in the gaps!

Let God show Himself in your life by understanding your weaknesses and bragging about His strength! Brag on Jesus! It doesn’t matter what situation you find yourself in. Where we are weak, He is strong. The Lord wants us to depend on Him and seek Him daily. He wants us to put Him first, knowing He is enough. I can’t stress that too much. Don’t walk around defeated. The enemy is defeated. Not you!

His love is enough! His mercy is enough! His kindness is enough!

Our Heavenly Father loves you with an everlasting love! Sometimes it’s hard to receive because you aren’t used to it, but slowly as you continue, day by day to trust Him with the 1 day, each day becomes easier. Trust Him with your 1 day. That means to take it day by day.
 You may have some vices you need to work out. The wonderful thing about submission to God is that He cleans you up. You can’t be too filthy. (However, don’t just stay in a place of willful sin. That isn’t what I am saying)
I use to believe that I was too messed up for the Lord to save and forgive, yet He forgave me. He saved me out of my mess. And some of my mess I was still doing after being saved, such as smoking marijuana and regularly drinking. I went back and forth with it, thinking I could control it or that God knows my heart so it’s ok. The Lord showed me that He didn’t want that. He showed me that they were strongholds. (I will discuss those in a separate post)
Glory to God because of His Love, and Mercy. It took longer for me to release myself from my past. I eventually forgave myself, and started walking in confidence.
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I believe the word when it says, If God is for me, who can be against me? (Romans 8:31)
Walk in that. Know it and believe it. Get it deep down in you. Once you realize who you are and who God is, you will not walk around condemned and defeated. You will not be a slave to your vices. You will be empowered. You will trust that God will perfect that which concerns you. (Psalms 138:8)
Don’t trust in anything more than God. Don’t love anything more than God. Don’t put anything before God. Acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will set your path straight. (Proverbs 3:6)
What the Lord has laid on my heart is His love for His children.

I wrote a prayer but add whatever you want to surrender to Him ok? Pray this out loud:
Heavenly Father, today I surrender my problems to you. I surrender my children, my job, my health, my husband, my car, my mind, my emotions, my life and my way! I surrender it all to you Father. I want your will to be done in my life. I say Yes to your will and yes to your way! I pray in the name of Jesus that you will go before me this day and set my path straight. Where I am weak you are strong. Show yourself to me today Father! Show your strength in my life, in the name of Jesus. You say in your word that you will teach me the ways of wisdom and lead me in straight paths. I’m standing on your word and believing you. You lead and I will follow trusting that you will never leave me or forsake me. Today, I will shift the atmosphere wherever I go because He who is in me is greater than He who is in the world.  I pray in the name of Jesus that my light shines ever so brightly and I show love. I thank you for striving with me. I thank you for your grace and your mercies that are new everyday. Thank you Lord and I give you the glory, honor and all the praise. Amen

This is a daily walk but literally take it day by day.
One day at a time. Trusting God this day. Taking up your cross this day. Leaning on Him this day.
Tomorrow will have its own worries. (Matthew 6:34)
Be blessed