Tag Archives: trials

“You want me to do what, God?”

How many of you have received a word from the Lord that gave you pause? That made you say, “You want me to do what, God?”

I have.

I have received a few of those words, that I didn’t quite understand, yet most times, I obeyed. The times that I didn’t obey, I paid the price. We do suffer many things, not from the enemy or the Lord, but by our own decisions. You do know that, right? Some things are just us. We need to get out of our own way.

The Lord says that obedience is better than sacrifice. (1 Samuel  15:22)

Also, understand these 3 things. (I cited these 3 from jolly notes.com, but agree with them 100%)

#1 God is still God – God is still on the throne
Psalm 46:10, ESV Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!

#2 God Knows. God Understands.
It may not make sense to us, but it makes sense to God. There are some things that we just don’t have the capacity to fully understand right now. God may have allowed something to happen, but it doesn’t mean it makes God happy.
Isaiah 55:8-9, ESV For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

#3 God loves you very deeply – His love for us is profound, incomprehensible, unfathomable and everlasting
Jeremiah 31:3, NIV …I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.


1 (2)

Knowing these things, and also referencing the many times that He has shown up in my life, leading and directing me, making things work out for my good, I know that I can trust Him.

Trust and faith is necessary to be obedient to God. You must believe that He will do what He says He will, even if it doesn’t look like it. You must trust His word.

Are there scenarios in the bible that I can reference? Sure, lets take a look at a few of my favorites from the Old and New Testaments:

  • God told Noah that He would cause it to rain and flood the earth for 40 days and 40 nights and to build an ark. Noah hadn’t experienced those weather conditions on earth before. He built it. He was ridiculed, yet he was obedient. He and his family were saved. He did everything God told him to do. Regardless of what he actually saw. He trusted God.
  • What about Moses? He was told to lead the people out of Egypt. Moses was not well spoken and did not think himself qualified. He said as much to God. God allowed his brother Aaron to assist but he still used Moses. Moses was successful in leading the children of Israel from Egypt. God did many signs and wonders thru Moses,
  • Abraham was told to sacrifice his son. His only son. The son of promise. He was obedient. He walked 3 days with his son to the mountain. His son asked where the sacrifice was and He told him that God would provide. He had so much trust in God. That was trust from a hard place. Can you imagine? All of the families on earth have been blessed because of Abraham, the father of faith.
  • Gideon was hiding in the cave when he saw an angel. The angel called him brave. He said for him to go boldly and save his people, the Israelites, from the hands of the Midianites. He said that the Lord was with him. He obeyed. He was victorious, and of all the fifteen men who ruled as Judges of Israel, Gideon, the fifth Judge, was the greatest, in courage, in wisdom, and in faith in God.
  • Joseph was told that his wife would be pregnant by the Holy Spirit. He was told that he had to stay with her. You know Joseph had a hard time with that one. He was obedient and Emmanuel – God with us, Jesus, was born into the world. Hallelujah!
  • Peter when asked to meet Jesus on the water is another example. I can just imagine his face LOL. “You want me to come out there?” “How?” (paraphrasing and emphasis mine) He was obedient and he walked on the water just like Jesus!
  • Ananias was asked by God to go to Saul aka Paul. Ananias had heard of Saul and he was hesitant. Sauls reputation as a murderer of those in The Way, or the Christians was well known. God told him that Saul was chosen by Him. He blinded Saul and wanted Ananias to go lay hands on him that he may regain his sight and also so he can be filled with the Holy Spirit. He was obedient.

There are many more throughout the bible. I want to show a history of how God deals with us. Obedience is absolutely necessary. Do not make mistakes about it.


2

God told me to leave my salon. A salon that He gave me. He said that He was shifting me-closing that door and opening another. I did not understand at first. I understand now. My clients, some family and friends, didn’t understand, and probably still don’t. My answer to them is that I’m being obedient. He didn’t give them the vision, He gave it to me. So I can’t expect them to understand. That is the best way I can say it, because that’s the truth. There is a scripture in John where Jesus says to his disciples that you may not understand now but later you will. Isn’t it like that? We don’t always get it at first. Sometimes we do, other times we are left asking, “What’s going on?” Let us never lose sight that Gods ways are not our ways, nor His thoughts our thoughts. Although we must have the mind of Christ, our Father in Heaven is still way higher than anything we can imagine. We are limited but we serve a LIMITLESS God!

It is imperative to walk in faith. If we walk by sight we won’t move. We will be fearful because of what we see. Or what others may say. We would be fearful because our mind will tell us that we can’t make it. Or that it’s too uncomfortable. I thought I would be a hairstylist and then teach hair for the rest of my life.  I was ok with that. I love doing hair. God had a plan all along. The more I walk with Him, the more I gain understanding. Even allowing this cancer to hit my body. He allowed me to suffer. But I am thankful for this suffering. It has opened my eyes and brought me to a level that I never was prior to this. He never left me, but told me it’s a process I must go through and it will be for His Glory! I am still going through, but all is well. I am clay. I am on the Potter’s wheel.

I used to write when I was younger, and my mom was a writer, but she didn’t do anything with it. God told me the same gifts He gave her, He gave to me but greater and I will do something with mine, for HIS GLORY! Glory to God!!  As Believers, we know that God knows the plans that He has for us. He knows. Even if we don’t. Our position should just be, “Yes God!”, ” Yes to your will and yes to your way.” Now, in saying, “Yes”, we don’t know which way things are going to go. It’s a faith walk, regardless of what is happening. He says if we put Him first all other things will be added. I’m putting Him first and believing Him on His word. Whatever is in store for me will be good. No doubt about that. It has already started to manifest. I see it in the Spirit. I see so much in the Spirit now. I’m less attached to the world, more attached to Him. The visions I have received concerning my life are scary, because they are big. I have written down what I want (making it plain.) I know that they can only take place with God spearheading, going ahead of me and making my path straight. It takes me being obedient to His will and living my life the way He requires. There is no compromise with God.

The Anointing cost! 

Have you received a word that you don’t quite understand? Is there a decision for you to make? Don’t trust in anything or anyone more than God.

3

We like to stay where it’s comfortable. But all progress takes place outside the comfort zone. You may have a dream or some desires that have not been fulfilled yet. Seek God. Trust Him. Walk in His ways. He is the one that gives us success. He is the one that causes us to be promoted. (Deuteronomy 8:18) His answers are yes, no and wait. His way is always better. Better than anything I could imagine. Our scope is so limited. We limited by what we see around us. He is a God that does not grow weary. He is an everlasting God. He sees the end from the beginning. There is comfort in that. There is comfort in knowing that the Creator of Heaven and Earth loves us so much. That He knows the number of hairs on our heads. He knows what we need. He says that He knows how to give good gifts to us. He can’t lie.

Trust Him.

 

Take the Mask off! I did.

As I sit here reflecting over my life, I am thankful to be alive and in my right mind. I was in such a dark place many times in my life. I had such a veil over my eyes. So much confusion. There were things that happened to me when I was younger that threw me in a tailspin and my life took off in crazy directions. How many can relate?

confusion

The Lord has been dealing with me about my testimony and being transparent. He wants me to share and help others. It is difficult to be completely open. It’s a vulnerable place. The court of public opinion is rough. I think about my family. The ones who don’t know it all. I think of my church members. Yes, everyone has a story. But most don’t tell it for the same reasons that I hesitated. I hesitated with the Lord. I speak boldly with Him. He says to come boldly to the throne and I do.
There are people who talk down on others, but they are doing the same thing. They may preach one message, yet live another. This is what Jesus was saying to the Pharisee. Don’t be a hypocrite.
Be real.
God sees you anyway.
The Lord always shines the light and exposes darkness. He did it with me and countless others. Yet it is to correct our behavior. He is a God of Mercy.

People are coming from all walks of life into the church. Don’t shun them or talk about them. God is calling them. We have to do better! People of God, we must show love. Not fake love either. (Matthew 7:20) Even babies know when you’re not being genuine. This is our commission. To love the Lord and love our neighbor. (Matthew 22:37-39)
I am a human being and I am not immune to these feelings. I am honest to admit them. I remember sharing a bit of my testimony with a sister and she teased me for weeks and called me the name I used when I was in my former life. I didn’t like that. I thought it was insensitive. She was fascinated with the story. I understand that but lets use some tact people. I share my story to show that God can save anyone. He saved Paul who was a murderer. He saved me and He can save you. He can change your life for the better. He did it for me. He can give you peace and joy in the midst of any storm. He is bigger than any circumstance that you may go through. I know this, because I’ve seen it in my life and testimonies of others.
He can save you while you are in church. Just being in the church building isn’t enough. Sometimes we are routinely going. Some people go and leave the same way with no changes taking place in their life. And if that’s you, then you’re missing the mark. You’re missing out on truly having an amazing relationship with God that produces much fruit!
I don’t have a heaven nor hell to put anyone in. And it seems to me that the words the Lord gives me to say can be bold. Even harsh. I tell you what–I’m more afraid of not doing what He tells me than how it’s received. Don’t get offended. But if you do, then I hope it’s offense that brings about action. I hope it brings you to your knees asking God to help you get back on track. I hope it makes you have a healthy fear of Him again. He is our GOD! our CREATOR! I am in such awe of HIM. He is a just God. He loves us, yes, but let’s not treat Him as if He is common. His thoughts are not our thoughts, nor His ways our ways. They’re greater.
I was in the world tough. I was a bisexual woman for many years before God delivered me. I danced, escorted then became a madam. This was all before I was saved. Then after being saved I had other trials. That’s for another post.
I wrote a book about my testimony, and will release it, in the coming months. It was a tough thing to write because it brought up so many emotions for me. There is a lot I buried, and just moved on from. I thank and praise God everyday and throughout the day. Literally, I do. He has changed my life. I am completely sold out to Him. What He did for me is nothing short of miraculous. Even through this cancer journey. so many blessings have come from it. I am transforming everyday. No longer a caterpillar!
monarch-butterfly-orange-flower
I didn’t know God. Yet He loved me. It was like a compass in my life leading me to Him.
I know that He is a forgiving God. The word says it and I’ve experienced it. I know that He is a powerful God, the word says it and I’ve seen His power demonstrated in my life. I know that He is a Deliverer, the word says it and I have experienced deliverance in many ways!
I know that He is a healer, because He has healed me: My heart, body and mind.

Strongholds are real. Demons are real.


Many people have strongholds, of one thing or another. It is a faulty thinking pattern based on lies and deception (2 Corinthians 10:5) Cast them down!
I truly understand the lure of the world. I understand the temptations of it. Sin is deceitful. Plain and simple. You think you can master it, but it masters you. I danced with the devil. I thought I could control everything. I had a rude awakening.
I thought that I was on my journey and would just continue on.
I’ve been saved and lets move on. No. The Lord started dealing with me about testimony and ALL of it. Whew Lord. That’s a tall order! He started last year with the testimony talk. Before my cancer diagnosis.
I remember my Bishop at church asked us for our testimony and I froze up. What would I write? What would I say? How could I tell them what I’ve done and who I’ve been? This is me being transparent. I thought all these things. I was asked to be apart of a testimony service by another sister for her church and I kept declining, citing work scheduling conflicts. Once I was diagnosed with cancer, I received prophetic words regarding it. It has not stopped. Dreams as well. Ok, Lord, I get it.

But Lord strengthen me, and take me to a place in you where I walk with boldness. That was my prayer.


You see, it’s not about me. It’s about God. I’m apart of His story not the other way around. I didn’t go through all I went through for nothing. The change of my mind is the biggest thing. My thoughts are different. My wants are different. You understand?
You, also, are apart of His story.
He wants us free. Truly free. There is freedom in Him.
No one can hold anything over my head because I’m free!
God is truly with me! The enemy wants me afraid. Wants me to stay quiet and feel ashamed. Oh no! I think not! I’ve been delivered and I’m more than a conqueror. Someone needs to know that! Someone out there needs my testimony. My book will be released and touch many around the world. I speak that and believe that.
I am not a preacher. I am a woman who has been saved by grace. A woman who has made a decision to trust and follow Jesus. A woman who has lived a lifestyle quite contrary to the one she lives now. I have wisdom and knowledge that I’ve gained from the streets and from the Lord! I know people.  I see people. That’s a blessing. God has increased my spiritual discernment and I see clearer than I ever have. I’m excited because there is so much more for me in the future.
I want to encourage you to stay on the Potters wheel.
Let the Lord continue to mold you. He knows who you are.  If you’re living a double life, stop faking in church. Go to God and repent and be delivered. There is so much He wants to show you. He wants to take you deeper in Him. But you cannot be a double minded person. You can’t be lukewarm, or else he says he will spit you out of his mouth (Revelation 3:14-22)
You are lukewarm if you say you are a christian, yet living as if you are not.
And I know it’s a process, but move forward with the process.
Take off the mask and be free!
If you are interested in information regarding my upcoming book release, free chapters and more, sign up for my mailing list.

Silent Tears…

silent tears

Today I woke with tears in my eyes. Silent tears–There was no sound. No cry escaped my lips, yet the tears flowed freely. I miss my mom, more than anyone could possibly know. Internal pain and hurt. Sometimes pain can be so great that a sound won’t come through. It can be so great that you are in the room but not present. You have a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. You search for an escape. Somewhere to run from “Are you ok?” and “What’s wrong?” You hear it, you want to answer, but knowing as soon as you start, your chest will heave and your shoulders will go slack and it will be over. All the silence is now so loud, it’s yelling at you like a bullhorn. The tears so loud, and fierce that you can’t catch your breath.

Your eyes look around quickly searching for an escape. You just want to be alone. Just a little time alone.  You feel no one understands. Who in your home understands?  They love you and want to comfort you. You appreciate the thoughtfulness of it all, but unable to receive at the moment. You must leave the room. The air is getting so thick. You can’t breathe in there. You need air.

“Help me Lord!” you say in your mind. You don’t trust yourself to speak. “I need your strength right now Jesus.” , “Your peace that surpasses all thought…”

You get up and walk out the room. The Lord leads you to a quiet place. No one follows you. They all stare as you walk out the room. You feel their eyes burning into your back. They love you. You understand. But you want them to understand that you need time. “This too shall pass. Just a moment,” you say to yourself. “Just give me a moment alone. ”

You are now in His presence. You sigh. A huge sigh of relief and release. You cry. You then notice the tears drying up. You feel the warmth of His hug. You smile. You actually smile! In the midst of! Glory to God! You know that He is with you. His peace starts to overflow. “There’s healing in your tears.” He says. “You are not alone, I am with you always.” You are over joyed! You know this already, but you understand we all need reminding. We need to hear, “I love you” It can be understood, and doesn’t have to be explained, but you still bask in the sound of those words.  His Spirit comforts you, and you start to feel normal again. You can actually have a conversation now without falling apart. You can go about your day.

Slowly your family comes to you–To your quiet place to check on you.  First, your youngest daughter. She says, “You thinking about grandma?” You nod. “It will be ok, mom.” and leans over, hugs you and kisses the top of your head. She retreats. After a few moments your husband comes out. He asks how you are doing. You are ok and have a brief conversation with him. Your husband leans over and gives you 3 kisses and a hug. He lingers there. You smile, and cherish that moment. Your spirits are connecting in that moment. It’s beautiful.


This was a brief synopsis of my morning.


Jesus is real. I know it, and I want others to know it. Even when I’m going through. Even with a loss of my mom, going through my breast cancer journey, and my dad currently in a cancer fight for his life. He’s real. Every now and then I will find tears in my eyes, with no words. God catches all my tears.


I write. I’ve kept journals since I was 14. Writing is such a major release for me. It’s therapeutic.  I aim to teach through my life experiences. I have much to share. The Lord has put this on my heart. Pressed it actually. I’ve had silent tears today about my mom, but I’ve had them in the past about my life. I’ve had them through molestation and rape. I’ve had them through divorce and starting my life over. Feeling like a failure. I’ve had them through pushing through when I just wanted to fall apart. Do you have silent tears? Do you have internal pain that you feel no one can understand? It’s not easy to share, is it? But sharing is therapeutic. Your testimony can and will help someone. We all share this human experience. There is nothing that you have gone through that someone else hasn’t. Nothing is new under the sun. I also understand that everyone can’t share. And that is ok. I am leaving the comfort of silence to speak. In my speaking, I want to show you Jesus. In my life, I want to show you Jesus. Look at me. You can see what He can do. The transformation power of His Glory! Hallelujah!

hallelujah


The Gift of Jesus!

You have so much joy because He gives you joy. Joy is not found in your circumstances. You look to Him. Circumstances change. Happiness is predicated on circumstances. You can be happy one second and sad the next. Joy is found in Jesus. Peace is based on what’s going on at that moment. But with Jesus, He gives you peace despite the conditions you find yourself in. Trust me. I know. I have so much experience with Him, and there is more to come. As long as I keep living.


John 14:27 “I am leaving you with a gift–peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.

 

 

XoXo

Tara

 

When your reality conflicts with what God said…

How many of you are in a transitional phase of your life? You’ve received a word from the Lord and you are waiting for it to manifest.  The reality of your situation is not lining up to what was spoken.

You’re waiting on God, but my question is: How are you waiting? 

wait for god

Let’s consider, two examples:

God spoke a word to Abraham that He will bless his seed with land. He said that all the families on earth would be blessed through him. He told Abraham that he could count the stars in the sky and that’s how many descendants he would have. Abraham and his wife, Sarah, were wondering how when they didn’t even have a son to begin with. Also, he and his wife were very old, well past child bearing age. Abraham’s reality didn’t line up to what God said. God’s word came to pass. Abraham was 100 when Isaac was born. Even though, He didn’t understand how. He believed God and it was counted as righteousness. However, there is a twist. Abraham and Sarah moved ahead of the Lord and made different plans. they believed what He said, but thought they would help Him. You see, they didn’t have a seed. So Sarah told Abraham to sleep with Hagar, her maidservant and have a child. He did. And Ishmael was born. Even though Abraham now had a son, he was not the son that God promised. Isaac was the promised seed. God’s word still came to pass. Read the account at Genesis 18-21.

This is a very relatable story and a prime example of reality not lining up to what God said. But with patience, and standing still we will see God come through. He knows the plans that He has towards us.

Let’s also look a the Israelites in the wilderness. The Lord had just rescued them from Egypt.

The Lord told the the Israelites that He will give them Canaan as the Promised Land. Read the account here at Numbers 13-14. He freed them from Egypt and they were witnesses to many miraculous signs and wonders. They saw His glory in Egypt and the wilderness. He went before them as a pillar of a cloud in the day and a pillar of fire at night.

pillar of fire

The Lord said for Moses to send out 12 leaders from each tribe to spy out the land of Canaan. They went and spied on the land for 40 days. They came back with conflicting reports. 10 of the leaders thought the land was impossible for the Israelites to capture. They saw the men in Canaan as being too powerful for them to overcome. Two of the leaders thought it was very possible because God was on their side. They all received the same word, but saw the situation differently. You know what the difference was? It was their faith. Their trust in God. Who believed His word? They all received it. But who believed it? It was only 2 of them, Joshua and Caleb who said that they could, “certainly conquer it.” They told the people not to be afraid because the Lord was with them. That is what faith looks like. The situation may appear to be impossible. It may look quite bleak, but if the Lord speaks a word you can count on it.

God sent His word forth.

What do we know about the word of the Lord? We know that it says in Isaiah 55:11, that His word will not return to Him void and will set out to accomplish the purpose for which it was sent. This means when God speaks a word to us, we can believe it.

The problem comes when we are looking at our circumstances. Our reality and day to day isn’t lining up with what God said because what He said hasn’t manifest in the natural yet.  The reality is conflicting to what was spoken. This requires great faith. It requires us walking by faith and not sight.

I will share 4 ways that can help you to walk by faith:

  1. Read the examples in the bible. The word of God is full of examples of men and women getting a word from God and seeing it manifest. In some cases it happened right away and others it didn’t. Read examples such as Abraham and Sarah with the promised seed, Mary with the promise of giving birth to Jesus, Noah with the promise of a flood, Joshua with a dream that came to pass, and David who was anointed as king, but it didn’t manifest until he was an adult. They are among many others.

  2. Look at what God has already done for you. God is working on our behalf daily. It’s important to recall what He has done for you. If you get stuck, while you are waiting on a word to manifest, think back to the things that happened in the past. think about your experience with God. Did you have an answered prayer? Did He heal you? Did He wipe out a bill for you? Did He give you favor in a particular situation? God does things in such a way that you cannot deny that it was Him. He will not let you boast on yourself or give His glory to another. You know the things that He has done. Keep those in your mind. If He has done it before, He will do it again.

  3. Listen to testimonies. You have your own testimonies and that is what I was speaking of in number two. But, also, the testimony of others can truly build your faith. It shows you that you are not alone in things that you go through. It also shows you that God is still moving. He is moving, even as you are waiting. You see the amazing things that He is capable of. You hear the testimony and something wells up inside of you. You praise Him for what He did for someone else.

  4. Pray. Yes pray. Prayer and developing an intimate connection with the Lord is paramount. Once you start to seek Him daily in prayer, your faith will build. Once you start to communicate with God you will learn the many ways that He speaks to us. God reveals things through prayer as well. Pray and then learn to sit quietly in His presence. This takes time and is not easy initially. But very worth it in your walk with God.

 

faithwalk

As I mentioned earlier, the Israelites were walking by sight and not faith, despite the experiences that they had with God. They had testimonies of His greatness and the wonderful things He did for them. He sustained them in the wilderness. He fed them with manna falling from Heaven. Fresh manna daily. They couldn’t store it up, because they had to depend on Him daily. Just as we do. As we should. That’s a miracle. They didn’t go hungry and He was with them daily. His cloud followed them by day and His fire by night. He led them. They knew what He was capable of. They started complaining about the manna. Lord help us. We are not so different today.

Their unbelief came with consequences.  They didn’t believe Him.  Yes, they had to wait. But, how did they wait?  With murmurs and complaints the entire time that He was sustaining them and teaching them. He gave them laws during this time among other things. At the end of the day, they were unable to enter into the promise land because of their unbelief. (Number 14: 20-23) The funny thing is, they would say that they believed and would do all that God said to do, yet their actions didn’t line up with that. A lesson for us today, for sure.

Without faith it is impossible to please God. (Hebrews 11:6)  Catch that?

What makes it hard is all the other voices we hear. Not anything spooky. I mean, our own voice, the enemy, our friends, etc. We have to learn to drown out the noise. A great way to do this is watching what we take in. What we listen to. What we watch. If we are spending more time daily with anything and everything but God, we will miss what He is saying. It’s more than just going to church on Sunday. It’s deeper than that. It takes pressing into Him. He says seek and you shall find. (Matthew 7:7)

When doubt enters in, rebuke it. When negative thoughts come, rebuke them and replace them with positive thoughts. The word says we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5) This is an all day, daily thing. I say this because thoughts will come. You will look at your situation and thoughts will come, words and actions even. But make a practice of taking them captive.

Speak life into your situations: Speak these affirmations, depending on the situation: I am the head and not the tail. I am a lender and not a borrower. By His stripes I am healed. I am the righteousness of Christ. God will perfect that which concerns me. All things will work for the good of those who love God and called to His purpose. I am called according to His purpose and things will work out for me. God is not a man that He could lie. What He says will come to pass. God says His word will not return to Him void. It will do what He purposes for it to do. God will never leave or forsake me. God knew me before the foundation of the world. God is my provider. In all my ways I will acknowledge him and he will set my path straight. There is nothing taking God by surprise. He knows all things. I can trust the Lord in my situation.

Say things like that. That’s the sword of the Spirit. The word of God.

I am very practical when it comes to this because I go off of my experiences. I have had many situations where a word was spoken over me and I look around and I don’t understand because my situation looks nothing like what was spoken. I have tried to take matters in my own hands as well many times because the Lord didn’t move when or the way I thought He should.  I think of the scripture in Proverbs 14:12 that says, “There is a way that seems right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.” This scripture is repeated at Proverbs 16:25.  We can’t just go our own way and think all will be well. It won’t. I believe the word of God. If you are a believer, you must act like it. Not in word only, but in deed. In your actions, even your thoughts.

God doesn’t move on our timetable. But He is always right on time. I know it sounds like a cliche’, but it is very true. You’ve had your experiences. What is different about this one that you’re in? Is God different? No. The word says that He is the same yesterday, today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8) So If He isn’t different, why can’t you trust Him? Yes, you find yourself in a tough situation. You may have been prophesied an answer. You may have been prophesied something amazing for your future or perhaps your spiritual gifts. You may look and say, “When Lord?”, “How Lord?”  And Glory to God because even in the waiting, He will sometimes reinforce what He said, so you know that He does, in fact hear you. It can come through someone else, a dream, the written or spoken word, or directly thru your spirit.

He speaks to you. But are you listening? Remember His thoughts are not your thoughts and ways not your ways. He may not move the way you want, or when, but again, He IS moving. He loves you with an everlasting love. Don’t doubt Him. You can stand on His word trusting that it will come to pass.

Trust God even when His answer is wait.

What are some ways that you stand on your faith, even when your reality says something other than what God said?

 

Where we are weak…

God is strong. 

The Lord says that where we are weak, He is strong.

​​
“Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:9‬ ‭NLT‬‬
 “So be strong and courageous, all you who put your hope in the Lord!”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭31:24‬ ‭NLT‬‬

When do you actually find out how strong you are? When do you find out what you’re made of? How much can you endure? 

It’s through trials and tribulations that we all face in the world. 

I was sitting outside this morning enjoying my coffee and reflecting on this season of my life. 

I was reflecting on the loss of my mom last year, suddenly from a heart attack.

I didn’t understand. That was such a hard time for me. Do you think it’s easier to lose someone suddenly or watch them slowly slip away? 

Think about it…

I think about it and I wish I had more time with my mom. I would not want to see her “wasting away” but I definitely wish she was still here. We are selfish too, you know. 

We want what we want. We want who we want. Sometimes our loved ones want to go. Sometimes they are tired.

In the case of my mom, I felt, in retrospect, that she knew that she was leaving us. She said her goodbyes. How do people know?? I don’t know. But she did. 

The last time I saw her felt like a “goodbye”, she told me how proud she was of me and how much she loved me and that she knew I would continue to do well in life. She looked me in the eyes and was extra “loving”  My mother was not like that. She didn’t say, “I love you” often at all. And that was ok. It was normal. But there was more said and I left there feeling amazing at how she spoke to me. I felt like a little girl hearing from your mom how proud she was of you. I joked with her how she was laying it on thick LOL and I would be there to pick her and dad up Monday because they hadn’t been to my new salon since it was finished. They saw it a few times while it was being worked up and everything .

We made a date. 

That day never came. She passed away 4 days later from that conversation.

That same year in September, towards the end of the month, I felt a lump in my right breast. I was alarmed. I was in the shower and something made me check. It wasn’t a regular routine for me. Let me tell you though. As soon as I felt it, I instantly knew it wasn’t right. It wasn’t just fibrous tissues. I hoped, but something inside of me said otherwise. 

I called my Gynecologist. I saw her in October. She wanted further examination. She wrote me a referral for a mammogram. It would be my very first. 

I made that call after my 40th birthday party. I didn’t want to deal with it. I went for my mammogram. It came back abnormal. Then there were more tests. Ultrasounds and biopsies. 

All of which were abnormal. Hmmmm is this really happening?? That is what I wondered. 

After it was all said and done, I was diagnosed with Breast cancer. Initially they thought stage 2b before surgery. After they opened me up they discovered so much more disease and I was officially stage 3b. What? How? Why? 


The doctors said coming in October versus November would not have made a difference. From the size and spread of the tumor, it was inside of me for awhile. So during this time, my mother in law was hospitalized and my father. They both had major surgery. I didn’t want to tell them what was going on with me. 

Christmas Day was spent going to the hospital visiting them both. All the while knowing I had cancer, but didn’t want to tell them. 

I kept it under wraps and told my spiritual mom, spiritual sisters and natural sister. I slowly started to let it be known. I needed prayer. I needed strength.

My dad was also diagnosed with liver cancer. He currently is fighting that cancer which is stage 4 and spread to his bones. God help us. 

I say that you never know how strong you are until you go through. 

My life has been turned upside down. Yet still I stand! 

I am thankful to God for His mercy and peace. He has given me peace in the midst of this storm. 

“Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.”

‭‭Job‬ ‭13:15‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Trials and tribulations do not have to be the end.

We will face trials in this world. No one is immune to them. Jesus was heavily persecuted and said that we would be as well. My trial may not be yours; however, it doesn’t diminish yours. 

We all share this human experience, meaning we experience similar issues. Issues that cut through race barriers. Issues that cut through religion and sexuality barriers. We are human. We are in a world where food that is meant to give us nutrition is killing us. That’s another story altogether smh.

I want to encourage you today that God never intended for us to live this way. He doesn’t want us suffering like we are. He loves us. He desires us all to be saved. He desires us all to come to an accurate knowledge of who He is. 

Death is not the end. Not if you’re saved. Jesus has Resurrection power! Hallelujah!


John 5:28-29, NKJV. “Do not marvel at this; for the hour is coming in which all who are in the graves will hear His voice and come forth – those who have done good, to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil, to the resurrection of condemnation.”

I encourage you to live your life and enjoy it daily. I encourage you to get to know God. I encourage you to do things you love and be around people you love. I encourage you to be selfish with yourself sometimes. Understand how important time is and how you can’t get it back. Don’t allow people to waste it. Spend time with who you want. Be genuine in your dealings with people. Trust that God will set your path straight. Cast your cares on Him. Don’t live your life frustrated . Remember that we all have choices. We just have to deal with our choices, whatever that may be. 

Remember to be kind. In a cruel world that is rare, but people are kind. They’re out here.

 You want love? Show love

You want a friend? Be a friend. 

Let it start with the man or woman in the mirror. Many times we must encourage ourselves. But let’s also encourage others. 

Life is definitely what we make it. It’s about how we react to the situations we deal with daily. What is our thought process like? You know thoughts turn into actions, actions into habits, habits into character… 

I always say the battle is in our minds. Stay strong in your mind. Stay positive. Faith helps with this. Trying to go at it alone without God seems daunting to me. We all need hope. Without hope what’s the point of it all? 


What do you believe in? Trust in? It must be greater than yourself? Right?

 Take the limits off God! We’re limited. He is not. 

Regardless of what life throws at me, I know the Lord will never leave nor forsake me. I believe that! That’s real to me. My hope lies with Him. 

I love you for taking the time to read my blog. I truly love writing and expressing myself this way. This is healing to my mind and spirit.

​​
Comment, share and follow

❤️